Swing and a miss.....

That tingle in my nose is back and I am not sure I can stop it this time.  I am praying I make it through the last half hour of work so I can go have a big cry in my car.

After getting cramp like pangs this morning, I just knew I was going to get my period.  I kept trying to stay positive and tell myself, "Maybe it is just implantation bleeding.  Don't stress out."  Who was I kidding.  I know my body so well.  I know every pain, twinge, and need, and this was for sure AF.

I saw pink when I went to the bathroom this morning, but this at 2pm, there it was.  In all of its crimson fury.  I guess I am not surprised that the first IUI wasn't successful.  I had looked at success rates and it wasn't too promising.  I kept telling myself before the procedure that I wasn't going to get excited, I would just see what happens, but damnit!  I was excited.  After the HSG, and learning how awesome Robert's sperm was, I was just so sure that this would work.  Robert and I talked it over and we decided that we would try the Letrozole/IUI for one more cycle and see what happens.  Then we may just stop all treatment and try naturally.
I know I am a tough chick, but I will tell you what, I didn't realize until now, how much this was wearing on me.  It is starting to take its toll.  I had to call Doc Sebastian and I am waiting for his nurse to call back.  She is so awesome and I am really hoping I can hold it together while I talk to her; I doubt it though.

I am still going to take an HPT in the morning to be sure, but this is really a no brainer.

I am going to continue with my "It sucks today but I will be fine tomorrow," routine.  But yea, today, it really sucks and all I want to do is cry.  Life really just isn't fair sometimes.
~C