Finally Forever: I'll bear that cross with honor, because freedom don't come free

I sat at my computer for a long time and fought back the tears before I wrote this post. This post has nothing to do with IF or babies, or pregnancy, but it has to do with me.

We had my brother Nick's deployment this past weekend. I can tell you that it was absolutely heartbreaking. Nick is my little brother, my Bear Cub, and my friend. Knowing that it would be 365 days until I see him again, ripped my heart out. I knew I wanted to hold it together for Sandymom. I am usually the emotional one, and the preggo hormones aren't helping.
I put on my "Proud Sister of a US Solider" t-shirt and we all caravaned to Pine City. The weather was sunny and warm but you could feel that the air was thick. There was kids saying goodbye to their moms and dads, wives saying goodbye to their husbands, mothers and fathers saying good bye to their children; it was so rough.
There was a giant group consisting of me, Zack, Joel, Joel's girlfriend Brooke, Robert, Dad, Sandymom, Nick's girlfriend Kristina, and tons of extended family. We all put on our tough faces and hid behind our sun glasses. The soldiers sat in the arena area and family took our seats in the bleachers. Politicians, city officials, and commanding officers took their turns making speeches. At this point, I was doing OK. I was keeping myself calm, not letting the tears come, and then the color guard leader came up to speak. There is a group of veterans that all ride big Harley motorcycles and they are HUGE supporters of our deployed troops. They make sure that families of the deployed soldiers are taken care of and they do a hell of a good job.
Now keep in mind; the man making the speech was a big biker guy. I am talking like black leather, mutton chops and a handle bar 'stache. He was looking tough. He started making his speech about how he is sending a flag with this group and how it is signed by everyone is his club. This big, tough biker then looked at all the troops and said, "If there comes a time when the day is rough, and you feel like no one cares; look at this, and you will know that we are here for you."

And then his voice cracked.

Here was this hardened war veteran, a motorcycle riding badass, and he was tearing up. He was so proud of our troops and felt such a sense of honor, it was beautiful to see. Not that I actually saw it though; the minute his voice cracked, I was a crying mess.

The rest of the ceremony was just as touching and I made it through the rest without much more tears. My family decided to skip the lunch at the armory and go get lunch on our own. There was lots of laughs, stories, and hugs.
When it was time to go, I could feel my stomach balling up, and my throat getting tight. I have never walked so slow in my life. I was trying to get every second I could with him. I tried to hang in there for Sandymom, but when I gave him his hug goodbye, I let the flood gates open. I could hear Nick tell me, "Please don't cry. Everything will be just fine."
I let him go and started walking towards my car. I could barely look back at him when I heard him yell, "Love you Mama Bear!" I sat in my car and just bawled. I cried for a good part of the way home. I missed him already. I am so proud of you, Nick.

Nick and his 94th Infantry Cavalry Scouts will be the final soldiers deployed in this war. Nick and his troops are part of Operation: New Dawn. They will be responsible for helping to pull all the soldiers and equipment out of Iraq and Afghanistan and bring them all back to the base in Kuwait. Those guys and girls will be "turning out the lights" as they say. They will pull the Americans out so the Iraqi and Afghan leaders can take responsibility for their own countries. After they are successful, Nick will come home to all of us.

Only 357 days to go. :-)

Here are some pictures from that day: