Roadside Assistance Albatross

It is Monday morning again!  How did the weekend zoom by us already?!

This weekend was actually quite enjoyable.  I really miss Sandy lately, so Friday night, I cooked up one of the best meals she has ever made for me!  It a flank steak with a Gorgonzola and shallot cream sauce.  It was to die for.  I, of course accompanied it with her famous roasted baby reds!  YUM YUM!

On Saturday, I went to my aunt and uncle's for breakfast.  My aunt Joanna has really been a calming force through all this TTC crapola.  She really keeps my mid off of things and keeps me grounded.  Of course she is also the mother to the cutest boy ever, Max.  Max is seriously one of the best children I have ever met.  He is well behaved, smart, polite, basically everything a parent strives to have their kid become.  I absolutely love spending time with him.  I like to think that he and I have a special bond.  Perhaps he felt like I needed a little extra squeeze because he wanted me to pick him up and snuggle him while the waffles were cooking.  It was just perfect.

We had a nice breakfast, I played Noah's Ark with Max while he took a bubble bath, and then he got out the V-Smile and played Pooh's Honey Hunt.



I was feeling pretty relaxed and content.  We had gotten a little bit of snow the previous night and I was a little nervous about getting my non four wheel drive vehicle out of their driveway.  When I went to leave, I wasn't getting much traction going forward, so I decided to back down the driveway.  I suppose this is the time I need to tell you that I am a HORRIBLE driver in reverse.  It is a miracle that I haven't gotten into an accident while backing up!  I went slightly (like three feet....) off the driveway and ended up in a snow bank.  Great.  I tried to give it the gas and then rock it, and nope.  It wasn't going anywhere. 

I honked the horn to let Joanna that I was obviously not going anywhere, and she came out to help.  We got the four wheeler out and decided to try and push the car.  We tried pushing it from the front bumper, we tried pushing it from the back bumper, and nothing.  I don't particularly like being outside in the winter time so I decided to play the girl card and call Roadside Assistance.  I mean, that is why I pay for it right?

I called them up, explained my embarrassing situation, and was then transferred to Bitchy Brenda.   This chick was either having the worst day on earth, or completely hated her job.   She was a complete pain the the kiester.  Brenda asked me if the road had been plowed that morning.  I told her it hadn't, but it was plowed last night.  She said, "Well, I am showing that road is not maintained and therefore we cannot assist you."  Serious?  "We cannot risk getting a wrecker drive stuck in the snow."  

 You are telling me a two ton wrecker cannot make it down a road?  I don't believe you, lady.

I was so furious that I hung up on her, only to have her call me back ten seconds later and ask, "Did you mean to hang up on me, Mrs. Kile?" 

Uh... sure did... CLICK.

I ended up having to call my mom and Ken to come and help push me out.  I was infuriated since I pay to have roadside coverage.  I did call my local office and filed a complaint.  Brenda for sure needs an attitude adjustment.  I did make it home safely and spent the rest of the day in my jammies.

I cooked a big french toast breakfast on Sunday and we watched the NHL All-Star game.  The Wild had two players in it this year!  Woot!  Robert fixed some tacos for dinner and we just chilled out.

Next weekend will be busy.  My friend's sixteen year old has her very first formal dance.  I will be on up-do patrol!

This post has taken me hours to write because today is beyond crazy at work!  I am hoping tomorrow's post won't take as long!

Have a good week!

~Courtney

Fake it 'til you make it

Fake: adj.   Not genuine, fraudulent. -n One that is not authentic or genuine; a counterfeit, impostor, or sham. Faking: v.    1.  To contrive and present as genuine; counterfeit.  2. To pretend; feign.

Sham.  Feign.  Pretend.  Make Believe.  Put up a front.  Bluff.

I do all of those things every day.  Today was was hardest bout with faking it to date.

I had a dental appointment at 7am.  I like that my dental office has convenient hours.  I also adore my dentist, and the receptionist there is a friend of a friend.  It is usually a fun experience, or as about as fun as a dental cleaning can be.  I had my check up, with a REALLY perky new hygienist and I had zero cavities in these pearly whites.  I even got a pink tooth brush:



Everything was coming up roses.  My teeth looked great, it is Friday, and I have lots of good stuff planned this weekend.  I stopped at the desk to show off my new tooth brush to the reception ladies and have a quick chat.  They asked how my dog was and I filled them in on her impending surgery.  Of course the dreaded question came up:  "When are you and Robert going to have kids?!"

 ::FAIL::

I gave them one of my carbon copy answers and I thought I had side swept that punch, but they came back with an outta-nowhere-uppercut:  "Well don't wait too long!  You are going to be too good of a mom to wait!  Hurry up, huh?!" 

Seriously? 

 Why would you say that to somebody?   I realize that you don't know my situation, but why would you say that to anybody?  I am sure my face got red and I could feel my cheeks get hot.  I knew I was on the verge of losing it.  I muttered a quick "thanks" and made a lame excuse to hightail it out of there.

I made it to my car in the parking lot, and then I couldn't hold the tears anymore.  I had a nice cry on my way to work.  Sometimes I think you just feel better after a long, hard cry.  I always feel refreshed, in a way.  I have been in a funk this week.  I know it goes in phases, and this is just a bummer phase, but I can't wait for it to pass.  I try so unbelievably hard not to let things like that get me down, but I couldn't be that tough today.

Instead, I was a sham, a counterfeit, a faker.

~Courtney

A sigh of relief

First and foremost, I revamped my page a little bit?  You like?  I am slowly learning how to personalize, customize, and do all the other "izes" to my page.  I'm just glad I was finally able to throw some pink in this bia!
So tax filing turned out not at all like I was expecting.  My employer had made a mistake on my W-4 and I was worried that Robert and I would have to pay in.  Our tax preparer was a complete tool and of course, we make too much money for any of the big marriage credits, but we got a rebate on our new roof!  I will definitely put that in the win column.  There was only one part where I thought I was going to strangle the tax preparer; the dreaded kid question.  Here is how the convo went down:

Tax Guy:  Do you guys have children?
Me:  No (I am sure my voice showed my disdain)
Tax Guy:  ::weird look on his face:: Oh.... that's a big deduction... ahahahah
Me:  Yes, I know that sir.  I have spent thousands trying to make that happen.
Tax Guy:  ::shifts nervously in his chair:: Well then, you should look into adoption.  You get a HUGE return then.

Really dude?  You think I am doing all of this for a tax refund?  I just wish people wouldn't find it so crazy, and off the wall when I say, "No, I don't have any children."  I mean, what if I was a person that never wanted kids?  What if I hated kids?  Or a person that has had TTC troubles and loss?  Oh wait, yea, that's me.  People need to think more before they speak.

The rest of it went without a hitch.  We are getting a tidy little refund and I think some new house projects are in the works for the spring.  Yea baby!

I got a work meeting that I should get ready for.  Have a good Thursday!
~Courtney

Insurance makes me crazy

I can't even begin to describe how nuts insurance really makes me.  I knew I would have a lot of work to do because I had so much done at the RE's office in December and I figured there would be some leg work.  We also switched providers and I was kind of thinking there would be some hoops to jump through.
I finally got all the bills together, and sent them in for reimbursement.  I was waiting patiently for the check when I got a letter from my HRA company that my claim was denied because I had failed to send in not only the bills, but the EOBs as well.  UGH.  I had specifically called them to double check what I needed to give them.  I was told to send my bills and a completed HRA reimbursement form.  So I did.  No one said anything about the EOBs.

Of course I have no idea where all those EOBs are, and I don't have time to scour the piles of junk mail that they are probably sitting in.  I had to log into my old insurance company's web page, print of all my EOBs from December (there was 11 by the way) and then fill out an HRA form for ALL 11 EOBs, scan it and email it to myself in a PDF and then FINALLY email it to the company.  Really?  That is a whole lot of rigmarole.

As I was adding up all the totals, and listing what they were for, it completely bummed me out.  It was almost $2000.  $2000 of failure.  $2000 of complete, and total let down, heartache, and pain. 
It is hard to look back and see what I had to put my body and emotions through, and then in the end, I didn't get my desired result.  My usual sunny demeanor is kind of taking a vacation today.  It may be because Robert and I are filing taxes tonight; and I am dreading it.  Last year, we had just started trying and our accountant and I talked excitedly about how I hoped I would be having to claim my first dependant this year, and how cool that would be. 
Now it is tax season again, and I still have no dependant to claim.  Even as I write today's blog, my cheeks are hot and there a few tears that threaten to leak out.  I even requested a different tax consultant.  I just don't want to answer the "How come you don't have kids yet?" question.
I just don't really want to deal with that today. 

I guess I will just have to learn that I will have good days and bad days.  Today is a downer day.  Tomorrow I am sure, will be better.

~Courtney

My first blog award!

I got my first blog award!  I know it probably isn't as big as the Oscars, but I was pretty darn excited!  Even more so because I got the nomination from B!  Thanks girl!  So here it is:

The rules for accepting this award are:
1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 other bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.

I got this from B from at http://www.bbhalphen.blogspot.com/.  I wish I knew how to just put her blog name as a link there like she did to mine, but I just spent twenty minutes trying to figure out how and I can't!  Bummer!  Teach me B!  You are the blogging all-star!  I am stoked about this though.  I really want to get my blog out there more.

Now, seven things about me.  Well here goes:

1.  I think John Prine is a totally under appreciated musical genius.  I can listen to his duet with Bonnie Raitt called "Angel from Montgomery" like a zillion times on repeat.
2.  I am one of the rare people that actually love their job.  It is hectic and crazy but I can't live without it.
3.  I am one of 6 kids.  Only one is blood related, the others by marriage, but I love them all.
4.  I really thought I would have kids by now
5.  I love to sing.  I always pretend I am on a show or a big stage when I am driving to work.
6.  I am a die hard Gleek.
7.  My dad is my hero.  His strength and faith astounds me.

As for my nominations, ladies... all five of you (wink wink), you all get this from me!  YAY!

And B, I need a Blogger tutorial!  Hook it up!

~Courtney

With a little help from my friends.

This weekend was kind of difficult for me.  After all our struggles, I am overcome with a myriad of new emotions.  Pangs of sadness, jealousy, anger, determination, and it is all over my empty uterus. 
I had my friend's baby shower this weekend.  They are the friends who told us they were pregnant the day I suffered my first loss.  Although I am pleased to pie for them, the fact that it all happened on that day makes the memory a sore subject still.

I was anxious all morning about it.  I definitely overcompensated my feeling by buying her tons of stuff!  I bought the hamper off her registry and filled it with an ear thermometer, every baby medicine I could find, a nose sucker, and a Star Wars onesie that says, "Jedi in Training."  I was at Helen's before the shower and she decided that I needed to go out afterwards to get my mind off of things.  I was grateful for that good idea!

The baby shower was at a girl's house, whom I have never met before.  I just really hoped that I could come off as my cheerful self.  The beginning of the party actually was OK.  The girls were funny, the house was cute, and Meghan looked positively glowing in her sweater.  Meghan is the envy of all pregnant women.  She has a cute little belly and has not gotten chubby at all.  You could also tell that she was sublimely happy.   I was finally starting to feel at ease and then, the double whammy.  Two more girls came in who were pregnant too, all at different stages.  I felt like looking up to God and saying, "Really?  I mean, Really??!  One preggo wasn't enough?"

I fought off that gut punch and enjoyed the rest of the party.  I got into my car and thought I had come out unscathed, but then they came.  The tears.  And ya know what?  I let them flow.   I am fully aware that I should not let these types of things get to me and I should just let it go.  Trust me, I know that.  But sometimes, that is just better in theory.  Sometimes I need a good cry.  And that is what I did.... all the way back to Helen's house.  Helen must have sensed that I was on the edge and just took over.  She did my make-up, dressed me up all purdy, and we headed out. 

One thing I am eternally grateful for, is my amazing group of friends.  It is so nice to be able to walk into a place, and get sincere and giant hugs.  I spent the evening playing pool, laughing, dancing, and watching an over imbibed Helen. They completely took my mind off of things and made me feel awesomely adored.  Thanks guys.  I hope they know how much they mean to me and that they may my weekend that much brighter.  Helen, Ben, Ian, Josh.... love you.

I spent Sunday cooking, relaxing, and watching movies with the World's Greatest Husband.  Sad to say though, we watched the new "A-Team" and it was pretty much lame-city.

Another week is upon us and I am feeling very scattered today.  I overslept and spent the morning in a scramble-fest.  I really hate that.  Needless to say, my hair is a nightmare today.  :-)

~Courtney

Brrrr... it's cold up here... there must be some frost in the atmosphere!

It is diabolically frigid here in the Northland this morning.  The windchill makes it feel like it is -40 degrees.  ICK.  I had to bundle up like the Michelin Man to come to work.  Unfortunately, it is going to stay this cold all weekend! 

Day 3 of no smoking is going surprisingly well.  The only time I ever have the urge to smoke it when I am driving to and from work, and usually I pop a piece of gum and I am fine.  It also helps that I have been doing a lot of singing lately so I belt 'em out in my car.  I am sure there will be situations that come up and I will get stronger urges to smoke, but I am really ready to be done with all of this. 

I am treating myself to a pedi tomorrow at noon.  I need a little pick me up before the baby shower.   I am really looking forward to the shower since she is one of my good friends, but there is still that pit in my stomach.  It just gives me a knot and makes me slightly ill.  I am so looking forward to seeing her new baby and snuggling him (at least I am pretty sure it is a him, they don't want to find out) but I still get the ugly green monster of jealousy.  I know it is normal and okay to feel this way, but sometimes it really bothers me.  I can only hope that I can fake a huge smile and really make sure she has a good time.  Robert and I got her TONS of stuff.  I went a little overboard, but oh well.  I am sure she will like the stuff!

We are working with a skeleton crew in the office because some people are afraid to come out in the cold.
WHINERS! :-)
Well folks, duty calls!
~Courtney