That Matthew, he is one smart cookie.

Good morning!  I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend!  We sure did!  I realize that it is Tuesday and I should be writing a Terrific Tuesday post, but I feel like this one needs to be written more.  I do in fact have a lot of things I am loving this week so I will swap out Terrific Tuesday for a Wonderful Wednesday. :-)

Anyhow, lately I have been checking in on my blog girls, like I do every day, and I have been noticing a ton of worry.  Some range from minor worries that I find a normal part of life for an IF mom, and then there are giant, life changing worries.  Either way, I am seeing all these worries wear on my confidantes.  I can almost feel the pressure they are under and the stress they are feeling.  It completely bums be out.  I know how much things can weigh on your mind.

I have suffered from anxiety my whole life. That crazy bitch IF only made it worse and then of course, two open heart surgeries on my newborn didn't exactly lighten the load.  My faith had been shaken during the TTC process, but after God answered my prayers with Sullivan, I knew I wasn't alone.  Now, I am not some kind of bible-thumper or put my hand on your forehead and rid you of any demons, but I do have a very strong faith. That faith has gotten me through some tough times; tougher than most people see in a lifetime.  It is a comfort knowing that someone always has your back.  I can promise you, He is always watching. :-)

On a particularly bad and stressful day towards the end of my pregnancy, I had emailed my dad and told him how worried I was about money.  How would we pay this bill?  What if we couldn't afford diapers?  What if he needed more clothes than what we had gotten for him?  Sometimes these worries were those of an irrational, pregnant mind, but they were valid to me at the time.  Little did we know what kind of bills were coming down the pike... hahaha.
Anyway, my dad emailed me the perfect solution.  This is what his email said,

"Courtney,

Read Matthew 6:25-34.  You'll feel better.

Love you,

Dad"

Part of me was angry that I had reached out for advice and comfort, and now I had to go on a biblical scavenger hunt.  Being in no mood to track this verse down, but not really having a choice, I did as I was instructed. 
As soon as I reached the passage, I knew exactly why my dad sent me there. 

"25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?


28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Matthew was right.  He kind of hit the nail on the head.  Why in the hell was I worrying?  Was me stewing at my desk going to help anything?  Um.. no.  Was I magically going to make more money or was trouble just going to stop bothering me because I was worried?  Yea... that would be no again. No matter what I did in my life, worrying was pointless. It wasn't going to change the situation.

Don't get me wrong; I can still worry with the best of them, but I don't let it consume me anymore.  I don't let it be the focal point of my life.  I needed a reminder of this after Sully's second surgery.  I feel so much better now.  Thanks for the reality check, Matt... you're a pretty wise cat.

If only one person reads this and finds comfort, I will be happy.  Take a deep breath.  Let it out.  Drop the worry.  Inhale goodness. 

This too shall pass.

Courtney