Photo bomb

I just wanted to post more pics because my little man is so damn cute!

Mini Vacay

Hello to all!
I returned go work today after a six &  a half week hiatus &  I'm not happy about it so I'm going to write about our awesome weekend instead.  :)
After the city crushing flood & the soul smashing return to work coming, we knew we needed to get away & relax. We took the hour long trip down I-35 to Hinckley.
Debbiemom & Ken have their summer house in a community down there &  it's a blast.
I was so excited to take Mr. Sully James swimming for the first time. I still get choked up when he is able to do all these firsts that had to be put on the back burner because of his surgery.
We spent most of the weekend hanging out in the sun, playing and swimming.  My aunt and uncle and grandparents have cabins in the same area so we all hang out together.

Swimming was a hit!  Sully had so much fun!  The first time we went, he kicked and played and wiggled so much that he fell asleep in his floaty.  It was hilarious.  Here is a pic of our Sunday swim:



Sully, Mama and Cousin M

Here he is getting ready for the pool:




While we were at the pool, one little girl did look to her dad and ask, "What is the matter with that baby's chest?"  I knew that kids would be asking it eventually.  I never want Sully to be ashamed of his scar.  It is almost like a badge of honor.  He is a little fighter and he earned every nook of that.  Robert and I wanted to make sure he knew that it was nothing to be ashamed of so we had this shirt made in various sizes:



How cute are those?  They were worth every penny!  :-)

I am back at work now so I better focus, but my return to work is a post all its own.

Happy Tuesday!

Courtney

After the rain

As some of you may have heard, my city, Duluth, has been absolutely ravaged by a flood. Between Tuesday night & Wednesday afternoon, we were pelted with 10+ inches of rain. That's a heap to get in less that 24 hours.
Restaurants flooded, roads cracked, cars & children were sucked into sink holes, bridges fell & people kayaked down the street. Our zoo flooded & 14 animals drown. The polar bear got loose & had to be tranq'ed. The 2 seals got loose & we're caught by passing motorists as they swam down the boulevard. Homes are gone.
Our mayor has declared a State of Emergency. FEMA is coming today. We're now asking the Feds to help with the multimillion dollar clean up.

My city is in shambles.

Our house was one of the lucky ones. We got a little water in the basement, and our yard has a ton of silt in it, but that's it.
I almost can't believe it because my house is almost 100 years old. The massive lightening cracks kept Sully away for a little bit, but he slept through most of it.

Our whole city is trying to pick up the pieces after total devastation.
I go back to work on Monday & this is the last thing I wanted to worry about. I need to destress a little so we are going to pack up & go to the cabin for the weekend. Sully is going swimming for the first time, & I'm really looking forward to that.

Please pray for our city & everyone impacted by this disaster. Mother Nature is a huge bitch sometimes.

I will end this post with some pics of the flood:

To Robert

Dear Robert,
I've been catching up with my bloggy ladies & a lot of them have written about a most often overlooked person when it comes to IF; the want-to-be-daddies.

You guys often get pushed to the side because of your uterus problem..... the not having it... Haha.
Yesterday was your first Father's Day. I had been planning for weeks.
While we were on the roller coaster ride leading up to Sully, we talked about all the things we wanted to do. I would cry on your shoulder & sob about how I wanted to be called mom & make school lunches & snuggle. You always listened & hugged me.
The only thing you ever got down about, the only thing you ever longed for, was to take our children to the zoo. For your first Father's Day, I wanted to make your dream come true.
Buying a membership to our zoo, was the best thing I've ever done. Surprising you with a picnic & taking our beautiful son to the zoo & spending the day together, was amazing. Seeing the sheer joy on your face was beautiful. In that moment, I knew all was right with the world.
You are such an amazing husband & father. You are a hard worker & a great role model for our little mister. You're sweet, funny, smart & the best friend I've ever had.

We love you so much

Love you 23,
Courtney & Sully

What did you just say?!

"MAMA! MAMA!"

Yep ... he said it. The word I have yearned to be called since the summer of 2009. The word that once seemed like so far away. The word I feel proud to be called & a title I don't take lightly.

Mama.

We have been working on Mama for a few weeks now. I knew Sully was going to be an early talker. He started babbling at 4 months & Robert & I talk non-stop & so does his daycare lady, Miss Molly.
The other morning, Sully & were getting ready to run errands. He was particularly chatty so I pounced at the opportunity to work on the sacred word. We sat in bed as I kept saying, "Ma-ma. Ma-maaa." He would babble & then silently mouth it. I tried for probably a half hour & he wouldn't say it out loud. Defeated, I left him to play as I went to the bathroom. When I walked out of the room, I heard, "Mama! Mama!"

I darted back in the room and stared at him in disbelief.

"What did you just say?!"

He gave me a big, toothless grin, like he loved keeping me in suspense. I tried to get him to say it again, praying it wasn't a fluke. Sully the Stinker then went back to silently mouthing it. I decided to step out again, just to see what he'd do.

"Mama! Mama!"

I ran back into the room & hugged my boy. I didn't want him to see the tears streaking down my face. He just giggled & hugged me. I don't think I've ever felt more joy in my life than I did at that moment.

I've been on cloud nine ever since. He's said it a few more times, & every time, my heart soars. I am so proud to be his Mama.

This is what it feels like when all your dreams come true.

I love you, Stinky Monster.

Just because he's cute

Sully is too cute, so all I wanted to do is share some pics of my handsome buddy.

Enjoy!

Mama's Guilt

Hey Bloggy Mamas, I need some advice/encouragement.
I'm struggling with M.G.; Mama's guilt. I know some of you have posted about similar things, but I'm having a rough night.
Today, Duluth was having one of it's few scorcher days. Now, it was only in the high 80's yet my city is notorious for humidity in the 90's. It was muggy & gross all day & we haven't installed the AC yet. Sully & I were hot & sticky all day & it made both of us a little irritable. We went down to the Point for the annual Point wide rummage sales. I slathered him up with sun screen and swiped myself with some too. We found good deals & some nice lady let me sit in her yard & feed him & change his diaper in the shade.
After sweating my rear off, my friend & I beelined to Target for a quick pit stop. I ended up finally getting the Sullster a high chair & a few summer rompers.
Towards the end of our Target excursion, Sully started rubbing his eyes & crying. I don't know if he rubbed sun block in his eyes, or if he inherited Mama's bad allergies, but his eyes were red & he was a complete bear.
He dozed off on the 10 minute ride home & as soon as we got in, I gave him a cool bath to get any of the excess sun screen off. He seemed pretty good after that.
Then, I had to put the high chair together, clean, do some dishes (this is the part where I tell you I can't stand a messy house... LOL) and take care of my stinky bear.
My brother recently moved to North Carolina & I had to go to his storage unit & get his car title & his AC unit because his is nicer.
I had sent Robert a text to let him know I was a little on the crabby side, but he too had a bad day & apparently my day "couldn't have been that bad because I'm home with Sully all day." What, you think the cooking, cleaning & baby rearing fairy comes to our house while you're at work?!

Moving along; he got home & we ran to the unit. We grabbed the title & the AC. When we got home, it was pumping time yet again. Then, I had to feed Sully & get him ready for bed. When I went to get Sully's jammies after his puree, Robert was struggling with the AC so I had to assist. In the meantime, Sully is screaming his head off downstairs, wondering what the hold up with his bottle was.
Let me tell you, Sully never cries, but when he's hungry; get outta the way.
I finally got the bottle in his mouth & he chugged. I was hoping he'd fall asleep, but he was wide awake after.
At this point, I needed a break. I asked Robert to take over.
I grabbed a margarita & my nook, and headed for the patio.

So, here I sit....

......Feeling guilty as hell.

I feel like I shouldn't need "me" time. I feel guilty that I want to sit in quiet & blog for 10 minutes. Sully needs me. I begged & pleaded with God for years to give me Sully & now I'm out on the patio with a 'rita?!

Has anyone felt this way? I know I shouldn't, but it's hard. I feel guilty. I feel like a failure.

He's sound asleep now, & I'll be up to check on him in a little while. I have my ever present baby monitor. :)

Thanks for always being here ladies.

Courtney

AF... you wicked bitch..

I've grown quite accustomed to not having my period. First she got a vacation during my pregnancy & has stayed on hiatus because of my commitment to pumping.
She reared her ugly head for one day when Sully was a month old, but it wasn't that bad.
This morning, she blew in with a one-two punch. I'm bloated, crampy & a major crab! I'm not going to like getting back to having periods again. Lame. I'm popping Tylenol like m&ms, wishing they were percocet. Haha. I've always had awful cramps, but it seems like they are worse this time around.

Now that it looks like AF may be making her presence known more often, I find myself thinking about my pregnancy struggles. Will it be easier now? Should we get our hopes up for a sibling for Sully? Should I not even think about it?
Robert & I have talked about more children & I want to wait until Sully is in pre-school, strictly from a financial stand point; but lately, Robert has tossed out the idea of me staying home & having more kids.
Obviously there is a ton to consider, and I would love to be home, but a huge part of me really wants to be selfish with my time with Sully. My heart swells with love for him & I just want to have our time. He is the epitome of miracle, & he deserves my undivided attention.
What are your thoughts about having more children after your rainbow ir miracle baby?

Good night, ladies. :)

I'm getting behind again....

.... and I hate that.
Being on a second "maternity" leave of sorts has kept me so busy!
I never knew how much I wanted to be a stay at home mom until this leave. Sully is such a cool, little fella, that I love spending all the time I can with him. We had our first picnic in the yard! Minnesota is finally getting some sunshine, & we are soaking it up. We play in the grass, & bake & cook. We go on walks, read books & take snuggly naps. It's so beyond amazing. Every day makes me fall more in love with my little BFF.

He is recovering spectacularly from his surgery! I can't believe it! He is so tough. :) We had a follow up cardiology appointment last week & they are so impressed. We have another appointment on June 12th & then not until he is a year!  OMG! He has 6 months shots on Wednesday too.. boo..

We also tried avacado this week & he loved them! This is the first veggie he has really liked! Thank goodness!

Well, as dorky as this is, they are crowning Miss USA so I gotta watch!

Have a good week!