1. Every morning, Sully wakes up happy. No fussing, no crying, just smiles and farts. I put our noses together, smooch his cheeks and sing the "Good Morning" song. I love that he is so chipper and happy. It makes me feel like I am doing the right things in his life.
2. When I am feeding him, I always hold the bottle with my right hand. He always reaches up and holds my thumb during feedings. It is a little thing, but I love that we hold hands. :-)
3. The moment he was born will go down in the books as the happiest moment of my life. The minute I heard that beautiful cry, I have never felt such joy. When I look back and remember the first time I saw him, I still tear up.
4. Even though I don't like remembering, I can never forget the moment after he was taken from the hospital we delivered at, to the NICU at the adjoining hospital, and he was being prepped for the life flight. He was on his back and being given IV meds. Robert looked at me and said, "I have only been able to hold him twice... now what..." I have never felt such a stabbing pain of grief ever. Here was my husband, sad and afraid, because he had only been able to snuggle our beautiful boy two times. Lucky for us, the flight nurse picked up Sully and put him in my husband's arms before whisking him off to the waiting isolette. This memory still causes my heart to break.
5. Back to happier things, I love the way that we he is in a deep sleep, his bottom lip comes out and sticks out as if to indicate, "Don't mess with me.. I am sleeping."
6. The first time he gave a big, belly laugh was awesome! We were in the tub, taking a "tubby" as we call it, and Robert pushed one of his little tug boats towards him and said, "Toot Toot," and Sully gave five huge belly laughs! It was the best sound ever! I cried like a little girl!
7. I still get emotional every time I get to do a "Mom Thing." Ya know, signing his Christmas present from Mama and Daddy, getting the stuff for his first Easter basket, etc. I have burst into tears at Target on more than one occasion.
8. Telling people, "Yea, I gotta leave work and go pick up my son." Yep.. MY son... I have a son. :-)
9. I love seeing the joy on his face when he sees me. Any time I walk into a room, he lights up and smiles. I can't help but smother him with kisses. My family always teases me that if kisses were dollars, I would be a millionaire!
10. His smell. I know that sounds creepy, but on my first day back at work, I took one of his blankets with me and it smelled just like him. Ahhh, heaven.
11. Leaving Children's. The day that we packed up and left the hospital was so amazing. Robert pulled up front and we got in. As we pulled away, I started sobbing. I looked at his little face, and I knew that all in my life was great and we were on our way home... together.
12. After weeks of trying, the first time he nursed from me was amazing. He was wearing white teddy bear, newborn sized pajamas. We were sitting on the bed, and he nursed for 20 minutes. And yes, as you might have guessed, I was crying.
13. Getting the OK to go out in the world and not live in our germ free bubble at home as we had been for 5 weeks, was awesome. We went to Bentleyville, saw Santa and walked around, proudly pushing the stroller.
14. I love being able to get tons of personalized family stuff. Shutterfly is going to leave me bankrupt. I have ordered prints for me, a mug for my mom, and now monogrammed thank you cards. Damn you Shutterfly and your 10% off AND free shipping! I also bought a purse from ThirtyOne that says, "Sully's Mama" on it.
15. I love the way he only wants Mama at nighttime, or when he is upset. He snuggles right in the crook of my arm, looks up at me with those big blue eyes, sighs falls asleep. It is the best part of my day.
16. I love that he jumps around so much in his bouncer, that he ends up falling asleep:
There are a million other things that I will carry with me forever. I love this little boy more than anything in this entire universe. As long as I have him and Robert, my life will be the most amazing life ever lived. I strive to be the best person I can be, just to make sure he is proud of me one day. Sully James, I love you so much. I am so thankful I am your mama. Love you Stinky Monster Bear. :-)
CourtneyAnna
I'm so glad you liked that idea! I need to add a few more things to my list too, but I figured I might as well publish it before I forget! They do grow up so fast! I can only imagine how scary that must have been when Sully went through all that...WOW!
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