Thursday, March 8, 2012

How much has changed

Lately, I have been dealing with a rash of "busy brain," as we call it in my family.  I just can't seem to shut off my mind.  I am constantly thinking about surgeries, insurance, leaves of absence, grocery shopping, lactation tea, work, birthdays, baptisms, vacations and everything else that could possibly cloud my dome piece.
Then I let my mind wander to the happy place and I think about how absolutely lucky we are.  We have this outstanding little boy who makes my days so bright and worthwhile.  His smile is contagious and he makes me feel like I am the best mom in the world.  I actually physically feel my heart just swell with love and joy for this tooting bundle of baby love!

And to think, this journey started almost a year ago.

On Sunday March 13, 2011, Lily was born to our best friends.  It was a bittersweet day.  We were so happy for them, but still aching inside for a baby of our own.  We visited this sweet, new baby and her beaming parents in the hospital, and left with heavy hearts.  Little did I know, that a mere 13 days later, I would be overjoyed to discover that I too had a bun in the oven.  As if it was some sort of irony, the doctor had even told us that our conception date was Sunday March 13.  Perhaps Lily was our little good luck charm.

Lily is going to be one next week.  ONE.  I cannot believe how incredibly fast this year has whipped by and I am still in shock over how much our lives have changed.  I see our friends with this little girl who has teeth, and she is walking and eating Cheerios like it is her job.  And we are changing diapers, playing patty cake and being the most happy we have ever been.  I have gone from having fancy hair treatments and blow up bath pillows in my tub, to rubber ducks and plastic boats.  I've gone from lacy, under wire bras, to bras that snap open to allow easy pumping access.  We now have a car seat permanently in our car.  I rarely listen to my old Tupac CDs on blast in the car.  I no longer have this bitterness and self loathing that I did when I felt like a reproductive failure.  Instead, my heart is filled with love and hope and gratitude.  We went from a pair, to a trio and I still can't believe we are so lucky.
I can't wait for all the years to come and watch this little boy grow up and be an amazing little person. 

What a difference a year makes.

2 comments:

  1. Yes, I agree. It's amazing to look back at what happens in a year. This time last year, DH and I were talking about the possibility of me being a stay at home mom. Our lives have more certainly changes for the better now that we are parents!

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