Yes, I will admit it. This pregnancy has made me a sobbing, weepy mess. I have had a about a week of pretty even keeled emotions but last night, they came back like a tidal wave. I am so used to being independent and taking care of everyone else, that it is so hard for me to stand on the sidelines and have others do for me.
My husband is a very sweet guy; notice keyword there: guy. I'm not supposed to be overdoing it and carrying my laundry baskets downstairs and such. I have been telling Robert for three days that I would need him to do a load of clothes for me. I am only wearing certain things because my boobs are still really sore and at this point, I want to make sure I am comfortable in case I have to stop my day and yak.
Of course we both had hectic days at work and when he got home, he forgot about my clothes. He and I usually carpool but I had gotten a ride home early yesterday so I could prep dinner. We were gonna grill some steaks and potatoes. I tenderized and seasoned the steak, chopped the potatoes, tossed them in the sauce, did all the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, took care of the dog, and got everything organized as I usually do.
I had only asked him to do one thing and he had forgotten it. The one solitary thing I asked him to do.
We finished dinner, and of course, I cleaned up. I had to get my clothes done, and since I can't carry my basket, I wrapped them in a towel and dragged them to the laundry room.
I was seething as I set the wash cycle. I was madder still as I climbed back up the stairs back to the bedroom.
When I got upstairs, he acted as if everything was kosher. That's when the dam broke. I started crying. Through my irrational tears I told him that I wasn't going to be able to keep up with the routine I was used to, that I shouldn't have to ask for help and that he should just do it, and I was going to need someone to take care of me for a change. I looked like a crazy person sitting on the bed with my hair in a crazy bun and bowl of half melted ice cream on my tummy, sobbing into my old stuffed rabbit. Robert felt really bad. He knew that he hadn't been pulling his weight and he agreed that I needed to take it easy. I started to feel a lot better after that.
I ate a little bit of my ice cream and laid my head down. I must have had one of those cries that just tucker you out. Like when a child throws a tantrum and then instantly falls asleep. That's what I did. I laid my head down and was out like a light.
I'm feeling OK this morning. Still a little tired and sore. I definitely have been overdoing it lately.
I just want to say this to all the women out there: Don't be afraid to cry. We are deserve to be slightly irrational right now and especially for IF moms, we have waited so long for this and we want to enjoy it.
And to the dads-to-be: Let her be irrational. Tell her everything will be fine. Offer to rub her feet. Try and do some things without having to be asked. I know this may be difficult, but the most important thing is that mommy is happy and healthy so baby can be happy and healthy. :-)
Happy Thursday!
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