Second Trimester Quick Update

Hey there!

I don't have tons of time for a huge update but I at least needed to check in and let you guys know what's up.
I had my 12 week ultrasound (even though I am actually almost 13 weeks) and everything is perfect.
Baby is a mover and a shaker!  The second the ultrasound tech put the wand on my tummy, the baby started dancin'!  Definitely my child!   My gut instinct tells me the baby is a girl! :-)  We have a big healthy heart rate of 165 and mom and baby are perfect.  We had a little 3D Ultrasound action and I got to see the baby's entire body!  Isn't she cute??



My husband's friend said she looks like Winnie the Pooh!  Either way, she is adorable!  I will totally feel badly if "she" turns out to be  "he" and I have been referring to her as a girl the whole time!  :-)

I have been waiting for my parents to get into town from Carolina so they can see my bump in person and then I will post some pics. 

Hope all is well with you ladies!

~Courtney

It's my uterus, and I'll cry if I want to

Yes, I will admit it.  This pregnancy has made me a sobbing, weepy mess.  I have had a about a week of pretty even keeled emotions but last night, they came back like a tidal wave.  I am so used to being independent and taking care of everyone else, that it is so hard for me to stand on the sidelines and have others do for me.
My husband is a very sweet guy; notice keyword there: guy.  I'm not supposed to be overdoing it and carrying my laundry baskets downstairs and such.  I have been telling Robert for three days that I would need him to do a load of clothes for me.  I am only wearing certain things because my boobs are still really sore and at this point, I want to make sure I am comfortable in case I have to stop my day and yak.
Of course we both had hectic days at work and when he got home, he forgot about my clothes.  He and I usually carpool but I had gotten a ride home early yesterday so I could prep dinner.  We were gonna grill some steaks and potatoes.  I tenderized and seasoned the steak, chopped the potatoes, tossed them in the sauce, did all the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, took care of the dog, and got everything organized as I usually do. 
I had only asked him to do one thing and he had forgotten it.  The one solitary thing I asked him to do.
We finished dinner, and of course, I cleaned up.  I had to get my clothes done, and since I can't carry my basket, I wrapped them in a towel and dragged them to the laundry room.
I was seething as I set the wash cycle.  I was madder still as I climbed back up the stairs back to the bedroom.
When I got upstairs, he acted as if everything was kosher.  That's when the dam broke.  I started crying.  Through my irrational tears I told him that I wasn't going to be able to keep up with the routine I was used to, that I shouldn't have to ask for help and that he should just do it, and I was going to need someone to take care of me for a change.  I looked like a crazy person sitting on the bed with my hair in a crazy bun and bowl of half melted ice cream on my tummy, sobbing into my old stuffed rabbit.  Robert felt really bad.  He knew that he hadn't been pulling his weight and he agreed that I needed to take it easy.  I started to feel a lot better after that.
I ate a little bit of my ice cream and laid my head down.  I must have had one of those cries that just tucker you out.  Like when a child throws a tantrum and then instantly falls asleep.  That's what I did.  I laid my head down and was out like a light.
I'm feeling OK this morning.  Still a little tired and sore.  I definitely have been overdoing it lately.
I just want to say this to all the women out there: Don't be afraid to cry.  We are deserve to be slightly irrational right now and especially for IF moms, we have waited so long for this and we want to enjoy it.
And to the dads-to-be:  Let her be irrational.  Tell her everything will be fine.  Offer to rub her feet.  Try and do some things without having to be asked.  I know this may be difficult, but the most important thing is that mommy is happy and healthy so baby can be happy and healthy. :-)

Happy Thursday!

If it makes you happy.

I have to come clean.  I was totally going to use this morning's post to rant and rave about Minnesota Republicans again.  I was going to huff and puff and stomp my feet and let you know about their outrageous plans to cut civil legal services by 16% and home care for the disabled in our state.  I was going to pound my fists and tell you how absurd their new bill is and how if it isn't veto'ed, hundreds of thousands of Minnesotans would be homeless, penniless, and without assistance....
.... But I won't. ;-)
I was also going to tell you that I am having an equally crappy morning.  It was all oversleeping, toe stubbing, heel scraping, feeling fat, and tears.  I was going to release all my fury this morning.  That is, until I thought better of it.  I don't want to put all that negativity out there.  Instead, I am going to tell about things that make me feel happy.  Things that make me smile.  I am hoping that some of these make your day better too!

~ The feeling of freshly brushed teeth:  There is nothing in the world like this feeling.  I am sure I brush my teeth more obsessively than most but it's because I love that feeling of absolute clean.

~ How sheets smell on your bed after they dried outside on the line:  Snuggling up in a bed that smells like flowers and sunshine... that pretty much guarantees a good night's sleep.

~ Listening to my Dad play guitar:  My dad has this old Gibson Heritage that I think is from the 60's.  It has a ding in the front where I hit it with a toy when I was younger, the neck has a scar from where is was broken in half at a gig, and so many good memories in it that there is something so warm and comforting in the way it sounds.  D'Adario J 16 Phosphorus Bronze.  Yes Dad, I will always remember what strings it uses. :-)

~ Watching movies and snuggling with my husband:  Just to know that God sent this amazing man to earth; to walk with me, and to be with me all my days.... it is nothing short of a dream.

~ Chocolate cake:  Let's face it... I'm pregnant.... and that tastes good.

~Diet Coke:  Oh my aspartame sweetened wonder, I miss you.  See you in 6 months!

~ Driving with the windows down:  I love the wind in my hair and a good song on the radio.  It always feels as if your cares are gone for those few minutes.

~ Seeing my growing tummy:  We have waited so long for this and have been through so much to get here.  Seeing this bulge in my tummy, knowing that there is finally a healthy baby in there... means the world.

I could make this list go on and on, but I will leave it at that.  You should leave a comment of some things that make YOU happy!  I want to know!

Have a good Wednesday!

What rhymes with big, huge bloat?

I feel like a hot air balloon today. 

Every morning, I check my pregnancy tracker, and it kind of gives me an idea of what is going on inside that wacky uterus of mine.  I am in the middle of week 11 and apparently, this is the gassy week.  This is the week where I will do nothing but belch, pass gas, and be as bloated as the Snoopy float in the Macy's parade.
Most of you know I am intensely private about bathroom business and anything having to do with where and when one does their bathroom business.  I can barely pee in public restrooms, let alone do anything else.  I realize that some of these things come along with the miracle of growing another tax payer, but they are some of biggest social phobias. It is also the opposite of fun when in the morning, when I need to leave my office umpteenbillion times to stand in the bathroom and pass gas until I nearly faint from all the air leaving my body.  I sure you are laughing about this but maybe you're laughing because you know exactly what I am talking about.  Not exactly the glowing, sexy preggo that all of us dream about becoming.

Also, my cat decided to be a GIANT pain in my pregnant ass last night.  I'm not sure if he is feeling ignored or in some way slighted, but he was definitely trying to make his presence known last night.  It is already hard enough for my to sleep with my growing belly, the constant need to toot, and a husband that snores like trucker; the last thing I needed was a frenzied feline.  Bailey the cat decided to play the fun game of "I'm Going To Knock All Of Courtney's Stuff Off The Dresser."  I was curled up in my pillow when BAM!  My lotion and mousse were sent crashing to the floor.  I whispered-hollered for him to knock it off, and tried to get some sleep.  CRASH!  Off when my body spray and make up bag.  At this point now, I have been awake for a few minutes, so naturally, I had to pee.
When I came back into the room and got all settled yet again, Bailey decided it would be an awesome idea to tear apart our palm plant, leaf by leaf, rip it out from the root, and make a giant mess on my beautiful hardwood floors. 
As I got up to deal with that disaster, my alarm went off.  You have got to be kidding me?  5:00am already?  Needless to say, Bailey the cat will be finding himself sleeping in the basement this evening.  Thanks to Bailey's midnight antics, I will be dragging butt even more than usual today.   Thanks a heap, jerk.

Regardless of my energy levels, duty calls.  Courtney, Out.

Sunshine

The sunshine and summer temps are FINALLY here in Northern Minnesota!  I know, I know... it's May already and the rest of the country has already experienced the beginnings of summer.  Northern Minnesota is like a cold weather vortex where winter overstays its welcome.  I even busted out the capris and heels and I am rockin' it today.  I have my iPod on and I'm listening to my rock mix filled with My Chemical Romance, Hole, and old school Joan Jett.  If it wasn't totally inappropriate, I would dance around my office playing air guitar.

Pregnancy update:  I am feeling pretty good.  I went a few days without very much morning sickness and then yesterday it came back with a vengeance.  I swear, those B-Natal suckers are a life saver when it comes to feeling like you may vomit 24/7.  Getting used to this growing belly is strange.  I find Robert constantly looking at me like he can't believe it is finally happening for us.  Sometimes it feels so surreal still.
It is still unnerving to feel the stretching of the uterus because I am constantly reading too much into every twinge and twitch.  On Saturday I will be 11 weeks and I think I will calm down more in another week when I am out of the first trimester.

We have a big meeting at work today. The Feds cut Legal Aid funding AGAIN and we are hoping to make it through.  The need for our services never goes down but we are working with a skeleton crew as it is.  Keep your fingers crossed for us!
Happy Thursday!

~Courtney

Busy, Busy, Busy

I swear, I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off.  It seems as though Robert and I have something going on every minute of every day.  I am actually looking forward to a day, hopefully soon, where I can stay in my jammies and relax!

This past weekend, we went to the cabin to open it up and put in the docks.  I couldn't be much help this year because of the list restriction, but I watched! :-)  It was still pretty chilly.  You could even see your breath!  Robert's least favorite part is putting his waders on and going in the lake to secure the docks; be he looks so cute when he does it:



It is about a two hour drive to the cabin and then two hours home.  I was so exhausted by the time we got back.  We had to hurry up and shower and go to a going away party.  Here is the sad part of my post: Tonight, my little brother Nick leaves for Camp Ripley.  He is being deployed.  We have his deployment  ceremony on May 28th.   Dad and Sandymom are flying home for it so we can all be together.  Combined with the pregnancy hormones, I have been a wreck.  I don't know how I am going to be able to let him go so far away for a whole year.  It really breaks my heart.  I call him Bear Cub or Cub, and he calls me Mama Bear.  I have three younger brothers and I assume the role of resident mom now that Sandymom and Dad are living out of state.  It's going to be very hard to say goodbye to my Bear Cub:



We have another busy week and weekend ahead of us, so I better get crackin'.  Have a good Tuesday!

~Courtney

Rain, Rain, Go away

It is a very rainy day here in Northern Minnesota!
The dark and dreary weather is not helping the fact that I am really tired.  Robert was a snoring machine last night and it was difficult to get any shut eye.

So, as of tomorrow, I am in week 10 of my pregnancy.  I haven't had a lot to complain about and not that I would really do any complaining anyhow.  The one weird thing I have had though is intense cravings.  Not like for pickles rubbed with peanut butter and then dipped in marshmallow fluff, but cravings for regular food.  I am OBSESSED with steak burritos from Chipotle.  And they are more like a treat to me since the closest Chiptole to my house is over 120 miles away; it is usually a treat when I get it. 

The other night, I was watching TV and it was about a Mexican restaurant and they were making steak burritos.  All of a sudden, my mouth literally started watering, and it was all I could think about.  I honest to goodness thought about telling Robert to go anywhere to get me one.  Extreme right?  I thought I was becoming a preggo mental case so I pushed it off to the side.  Let me tell you, that craving is a consistent little shit.  It had been days and it was still there.  I knew I had to do something about it.  Even thought it is raining out, Robert is grilling some steak and sonovabitch, we are making steak burritos!  I am one happy lady!

I know this post may be kind of boring to some but seriously.  I was ready to give my little pinkie toenail for a steak burrito!  Haha!  Talking about it now makes my belly growl!

Hope you all have a good rest of the day and maybe even got a chuckle outta my silliness!

~Courtney

Update

Hey gals!

How has everyone been? 
I am trying to stay on top of posting because I don't want to become one of those bloggers that blogs likes nuts for a while and then falls off the face of the planet.  Especially since this blog means so much to me.

I am a little over 9 weeks pregnant now.  I am very excited, but still scared.  Last week, on Thursday, I went to the bathroom before lunch.  When I wiped, I discovered I was bleeding.

Cue the panic.

I ran back to my office and Lynn drove me to Dr. S's office.  I couldn't even control the tears.  They got me in for an internal ultrasound and discovered an internal bleed.  Apparently they are kind of rare (so of course it happens to me!!) and I needed to go on bed rest for a few days.  I was beyond scared.
I quit bleeding by the time I left and I was hoping the worst was over.
Later that night, I started again. 
I was crushed.

I called my dad and got a huge dose of prayers and positivity.  He told me to just "feed" the baby positivity and light.  I did that all weekend.  I sat around, laid around, and was basically a vegetable.  I am not used to being a lump so I ended up getting my back spasms again.  Awesome.

I had my follow up this morning and it was the first time I wished the weekend would speed by.  Debbiemom came and picked me up because Robert had to work and I didn't want to go by myself.
All we needed to see was that little heart beating away and a nice healthy baby....

..... and that's exactly what we saw!

I am so relieved.  I cried so hard.  I knew this baby was a fighter.  The bleed has healed and Dr. S said I shouldnt have anything to worry about.  I am on a zero lifting restriction and I need to basically baby myself for the rest of my pregnancy.  I can still do my day to day stuff, but I can't overexert myself.

I have my next appointment on May 24th and Robert has that day off and finally gets to go.  I am very excited.

Thanks to those that knew what was going on and sent me the good vibes and prayers.  Keep them coming!
I also promise that I will be more diligent with my updating!

Have a good night everyone!