I got my test results back yesterday and turns out that I do in fact have preeclampsia. I am absolutely heartbroken over this. I know there isn't anything I could have differently, but I am still disappointed.
The protein testing they did on my urine, came back yesterday. The normal range is 28-141 and anything elevated above that is preeclampsia. My protein level was 623. Yea... I really got it up there didn't I?
Luckily, I got to speak to Dr. S's nurse, Heather, yesterday, whom I adore. At my biophysical profile ultrasound today, they are looking for four things, for a total of eight points. The four things are: Fetal Movement, Fetal Tone, Breathing and Amniotic fluid levels. Each of the four things are worth two points a piece, giving me 8 points.
Depending on what they see at this ultrasound at 11:00am, they can either decide to do a C -Section today, they could induce today or they could schedule either of those for next week. It looks like I am heading towards some bed rest. :-( I wasn't prepared to leave work so early, but I am grateful that I have such an amazing temp coming for me.
To be completely honest, I am scared to death. I just want him here and safe. I don't want to come this far and have something be wrong. I have tried so hard to have such a good, healthy pregnancy, and this is kind of making me feel like a failure.
I keep staring at the clock and hoping these next 26 minutes speed by so I can leave and go to my appointment. Send your prayers and positive vibes this way!
Courtney
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Pre-Eclampsia Testing?!
Morning all!
I have lots to report this morning so let's see if I can get my crazy brain to remember it all.
I am spacing on if I have posted about this one nurse I don't particularly care for at Dr. S' office. I had her do my vitals one other time, about 2 months ago, and she was completely incompetent. She took my blood pressure and told me it was some ungodly high number and I pointed out that she still had air in the cuff. Miss Priss Ass denied any wrong doing and I had to come back the following day for another check, and shockingly, when someone completed the blood pressure check correctly, my blood pressure was fine.
Anyhey, I had Blondie yesterday and of course, my blood pressure came back 150/100. I just rolled my eyes and waited to see Dr. S. This is also where I am gonna say, hey! I am giantly pregnant, I have to pee like a race horse, I just waddled 2 blocks and the very first thing you do is take my blood pressure!? Gimme a minute, huh?
I had my appointment with Dr. S and everything looks great there. I am about a centimeter dilated and everything is on track. He shook my hand, said, "See ya next week," and I was on my way. Just as I had gotten my underpants back on, he popped his head in. He said that he was concerned about my blood pressure and because I was full term this week, he wanted me to go to the birthing center.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Now, I obviously don't mind doing what is best for Sully, but I knew that it was because this chick had no idea how to take a blood pressure. I shared my thoughts with Dr. S, but of course, it was better to be safe than sorry.
I called Robert and work and started to cry. I really was angry about having to miss more hours of work and because Robert was saving his time too, I knew I would have to go by myself. I moved my car to the hospital lot and trudged up to the birthing center. They ordered a urine test and blood work.
They took my blood pressure right away and it was already lower than the reading Suck Butt Nurse had gotten. They hooked me up to monitors and I got to listen to Sully's awesome heart beat again. I had a really nice nurse assigned to me at the birthing center. She was really chatty and sweet.
The attending doctor came in to talk to me as well and explain a little more that Dr. S was concerned about pre-eclampsia. I told her that I had had no other signs of it like swelling, headaches or blurry vision. In fact, I have been really lucky in the swelling department. She said that sometimes they catch it so early that you don't have those signs. AWESOME.
I waited almost 2 hours for my blood work to come back. They were checking for liver function and Creatin levels. My blood work came back normal. Sadly, there was a +1 reading of protein in my urine. FAIL.
My next step wasn't so pretty. The nurse came back in with a basin, a giant orange jug and a pee "hat." I was then instructed to go home, and put the hat on my toilet and use it to collect a 24 hour urine sample. I am sure my confused look caused her to elaborate further. I was to collect urine EVERY TIME I went to the bathroom for 24 hours. EVERY TIME. Are you kidding me?!
I packed up my goodie bag of pee collecting supplies and they sent me on my way.
I decided to treat myself to a soda a french fries. I mean, hey... I had earned it. I went home and collected for 24 hours. It was a giant hassle. Oh, and did I mention I had to keep it on ice? If I would have let it sit, it would have grown bacteria, so I had the jug, in the basin, surrounded by ice, just sitting on the hamper in my bathroom. G-Ross....
I dropped it off at the hospital lab and I am waiting on those results now. I should get the call after lunch.
I have a biophysical ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow at 11:00am. Depending on what the urine says and what the ultrasound says, Sully could be here as early as next week. I really hope that we can hold off until my mom gets here. Her plane gets in to town at 2pm on the 21st and I would really want her to be here. Obviously, we will do whatever is best for Sully, but I hope she can be here.
We will know more tomorrow and then be able to make a plan from there. I am excited to finally have him out in the world instead of constantly worrying about something happening with the pregnancy. And, I am back to vomiting every day so I am most definitely looking forward to that stopping. :-)
I am hoping I hear the urine results today so I am can quit worrying about it!
On a more positive note, I have my bag all packed for the hospital. Sully's room is ready to go and speaking of that, here are some pics:
I have lots to report this morning so let's see if I can get my crazy brain to remember it all.
I am spacing on if I have posted about this one nurse I don't particularly care for at Dr. S' office. I had her do my vitals one other time, about 2 months ago, and she was completely incompetent. She took my blood pressure and told me it was some ungodly high number and I pointed out that she still had air in the cuff. Miss Priss Ass denied any wrong doing and I had to come back the following day for another check, and shockingly, when someone completed the blood pressure check correctly, my blood pressure was fine.
Anyhey, I had Blondie yesterday and of course, my blood pressure came back 150/100. I just rolled my eyes and waited to see Dr. S. This is also where I am gonna say, hey! I am giantly pregnant, I have to pee like a race horse, I just waddled 2 blocks and the very first thing you do is take my blood pressure!? Gimme a minute, huh?
I had my appointment with Dr. S and everything looks great there. I am about a centimeter dilated and everything is on track. He shook my hand, said, "See ya next week," and I was on my way. Just as I had gotten my underpants back on, he popped his head in. He said that he was concerned about my blood pressure and because I was full term this week, he wanted me to go to the birthing center.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Now, I obviously don't mind doing what is best for Sully, but I knew that it was because this chick had no idea how to take a blood pressure. I shared my thoughts with Dr. S, but of course, it was better to be safe than sorry.
I called Robert and work and started to cry. I really was angry about having to miss more hours of work and because Robert was saving his time too, I knew I would have to go by myself. I moved my car to the hospital lot and trudged up to the birthing center. They ordered a urine test and blood work.
They took my blood pressure right away and it was already lower than the reading Suck Butt Nurse had gotten. They hooked me up to monitors and I got to listen to Sully's awesome heart beat again. I had a really nice nurse assigned to me at the birthing center. She was really chatty and sweet.
The attending doctor came in to talk to me as well and explain a little more that Dr. S was concerned about pre-eclampsia. I told her that I had had no other signs of it like swelling, headaches or blurry vision. In fact, I have been really lucky in the swelling department. She said that sometimes they catch it so early that you don't have those signs. AWESOME.
I waited almost 2 hours for my blood work to come back. They were checking for liver function and Creatin levels. My blood work came back normal. Sadly, there was a +1 reading of protein in my urine. FAIL.
My next step wasn't so pretty. The nurse came back in with a basin, a giant orange jug and a pee "hat." I was then instructed to go home, and put the hat on my toilet and use it to collect a 24 hour urine sample. I am sure my confused look caused her to elaborate further. I was to collect urine EVERY TIME I went to the bathroom for 24 hours. EVERY TIME. Are you kidding me?!
I packed up my goodie bag of pee collecting supplies and they sent me on my way.
I decided to treat myself to a soda a french fries. I mean, hey... I had earned it. I went home and collected for 24 hours. It was a giant hassle. Oh, and did I mention I had to keep it on ice? If I would have let it sit, it would have grown bacteria, so I had the jug, in the basin, surrounded by ice, just sitting on the hamper in my bathroom. G-Ross....
I dropped it off at the hospital lab and I am waiting on those results now. I should get the call after lunch.
I have a biophysical ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow at 11:00am. Depending on what the urine says and what the ultrasound says, Sully could be here as early as next week. I really hope that we can hold off until my mom gets here. Her plane gets in to town at 2pm on the 21st and I would really want her to be here. Obviously, we will do whatever is best for Sully, but I hope she can be here.
We will know more tomorrow and then be able to make a plan from there. I am excited to finally have him out in the world instead of constantly worrying about something happening with the pregnancy. And, I am back to vomiting every day so I am most definitely looking forward to that stopping. :-)
I am hoping I hear the urine results today so I am can quit worrying about it!
On a more positive note, I have my bag all packed for the hospital. Sully's room is ready to go and speaking of that, here are some pics:
A view from his doorway! Cute!
His little organizer and books!
I am obsessed with this built in!
That little sign says,
"Twinkle, Twinkle little star. Do you know
how loved you are?"
I love this swing!
So Adorable!
His friends are waiting for him! :-)
I just love how his nursery turned out! It is simple, clean and adorable!
Happy Wednesday!
Friday, November 4, 2011
36 Weeks 1 Day
So here we are: almost full term. I still can't believe it. I am getting more and more anxious to meet our little buddy.
I also can't believe I have doctor appointments every Monday now and if Sully isn't here by the 21st, then we will induce on the 23rd. That is a short 19 days away. I can't believe I have gone from counting down by months, to weeks, and now, days. Part of me thinks I won't have to be induced and he will come before that. I have been having a few small contractions here and there; nothing crazy. I also feel that when I go in for my appointment on Monday, I think I am dilated a little. I have been getting that pain in my lady station that they told us about in birthing class.
I am one of many people I know that are pregnant right now and some of them have started having their babies and I am anxiously awaiting my turn.
I have my last pre-pregnancy commitment tomorrow. Tomorrow is Women Rock and I am very excited for it. It is a big women's retreat and all the proceeds benefit breast cancer. It is a ton of work and I will be glad to put this year's event behind me. I an running slightly ragged and I am looking forward to being done with all of my prior commitments.
All of a sudden pregnancy brain has taken over, and I have completely lost my train of thought for this post. Oh well, I will have more to share on Monday anyway!
Have a good weekend all!
I also can't believe I have doctor appointments every Monday now and if Sully isn't here by the 21st, then we will induce on the 23rd. That is a short 19 days away. I can't believe I have gone from counting down by months, to weeks, and now, days. Part of me thinks I won't have to be induced and he will come before that. I have been having a few small contractions here and there; nothing crazy. I also feel that when I go in for my appointment on Monday, I think I am dilated a little. I have been getting that pain in my lady station that they told us about in birthing class.
I am one of many people I know that are pregnant right now and some of them have started having their babies and I am anxiously awaiting my turn.
I have my last pre-pregnancy commitment tomorrow. Tomorrow is Women Rock and I am very excited for it. It is a big women's retreat and all the proceeds benefit breast cancer. It is a ton of work and I will be glad to put this year's event behind me. I an running slightly ragged and I am looking forward to being done with all of my prior commitments.
All of a sudden pregnancy brain has taken over, and I have completely lost my train of thought for this post. Oh well, I will have more to share on Monday anyway!
Have a good weekend all!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Big Update
Hello there!
I have a lot to update about but due to the renovations going on in my office, I am forced to use another office and it is not nearly conducive to to blogging.
I had my growth ultrasound today. Dr. S was thinking Sully was getting big and we were looking at induction.
Well, Sully is doing well and measuring spot on. My amniotic fluid was high last month and this month it is more in the normal range, which is good. My cervix is thinning a little and Sully is head down so much that I swear the ultrasound wand was on my thigh! He is all squished in there and in my mind, he looks like he is about ready to greet this big, old world. I got to see his little "practice breaths." We were able to see his little tummy moving as he was practicing his inhales and exhales. As always, I love hearing his little heartbeat. Mr. Sullivan is tipping the scales at almost 6lbs of cuteness!
The forward plan is I have a doctor appointment on November 7th, then again on November 14th and then another ultrasound on November 21. At the 21st appointment, if I haven't gone into labor by then, we will induce on November 23rd. That means no Thanksgiving dinner for Robert and I but it will give us the most awesome reason to be thankful. :-) I am hoping that I can hold off until then because Debbiemom isn't flying back into town from Florida until the 21st and I really need her here for the birth.
I can't believe we are literally less than a month away. I can't wait to meet him. I get more and more distracted at work every day. I think about Sully 24/7. That means I only have 20 days to work before Sully is here! I just gotta make it 20 more working days! WOOT!
Courtney
I have a lot to update about but due to the renovations going on in my office, I am forced to use another office and it is not nearly conducive to to blogging.
I had my growth ultrasound today. Dr. S was thinking Sully was getting big and we were looking at induction.
Well, Sully is doing well and measuring spot on. My amniotic fluid was high last month and this month it is more in the normal range, which is good. My cervix is thinning a little and Sully is head down so much that I swear the ultrasound wand was on my thigh! He is all squished in there and in my mind, he looks like he is about ready to greet this big, old world. I got to see his little "practice breaths." We were able to see his little tummy moving as he was practicing his inhales and exhales. As always, I love hearing his little heartbeat. Mr. Sullivan is tipping the scales at almost 6lbs of cuteness!
The forward plan is I have a doctor appointment on November 7th, then again on November 14th and then another ultrasound on November 21. At the 21st appointment, if I haven't gone into labor by then, we will induce on November 23rd. That means no Thanksgiving dinner for Robert and I but it will give us the most awesome reason to be thankful. :-) I am hoping that I can hold off until then because Debbiemom isn't flying back into town from Florida until the 21st and I really need her here for the birth.
I can't believe we are literally less than a month away. I can't wait to meet him. I get more and more distracted at work every day. I think about Sully 24/7. That means I only have 20 days to work before Sully is here! I just gotta make it 20 more working days! WOOT!
Courtney
Friday, October 21, 2011
Friday... TGIF Baby
Morning!
I am so beyond excited that it is Friday. It has been another grueling week and I am ready for some R & R this weekend. My sister and niece are coming to stay with us this weekend and I am really excited to see them. My niece is chomping at the bit to feel my belly. I am hoping Sully cooperates with her and gives her a big kick.
We have a few final touches to put in the nursery and it will be complete. I will be posting pictures this weekend.
We also had the dreaded office baby shower on Tuesday. I was really not looking forward to it, but it ended up being OK. The cake was delicious and I ate my weight in taco dip. My coworkers got us cute little outfits and diapers and toys. One of the paralegals in our Pine City office even made this beautiful quilt. The stitching is so perfect and the quilt is adorable. It will be a perfect blanket for tummy time. The ladies in my office that convinced me to not cancel the shower even had little corsages made for K and I. And the cake was adorable!
Aren't they cute:
I am so beyond excited that it is Friday. It has been another grueling week and I am ready for some R & R this weekend. My sister and niece are coming to stay with us this weekend and I am really excited to see them. My niece is chomping at the bit to feel my belly. I am hoping Sully cooperates with her and gives her a big kick.
We have a few final touches to put in the nursery and it will be complete. I will be posting pictures this weekend.
We also had the dreaded office baby shower on Tuesday. I was really not looking forward to it, but it ended up being OK. The cake was delicious and I ate my weight in taco dip. My coworkers got us cute little outfits and diapers and toys. One of the paralegals in our Pine City office even made this beautiful quilt. The stitching is so perfect and the quilt is adorable. It will be a perfect blanket for tummy time. The ladies in my office that convinced me to not cancel the shower even had little corsages made for K and I. And the cake was adorable!
Aren't they cute:
I have also been feeling very big lately. My belly has gotten so big and round. It is actually cumbersome to move around, especially if I need to move somewhere kind of quickly. This must mean that he is a big, healthy boy, right?
Here is a pic from last week, 33 weeks:
Here is a pic from last week, 33 weeks:
That is one giant belly! Hahah. It is still weird to think that there is a 5lb little boy hanging out in there somewhere. I know he is head down now and his little butt is in my upper left side ribcage, but where on earth is everything else!? I am getting anxious to see his cute little face at my appointment next week. I swear, the weeks are moving slowly now. All I want is for him to be here, and snuggle him, and feed him and dote on him. I can barely focus at work anymore. My mind drifts to all the things we are going to do as a family, and the little outfits he is going to wear. I spend hours scouring the Internet for the best Christening outfit (which I have yet to find). I am basically in "fake-it-til-you-make-it" mode. I want to get through these next 5 weeks 6 days, or less, and then have 10 weeks to sit at home and love my little guy.
Case in point: ignoring my stack of letters to draft on my left in favor of updating the blog. Yep, this chick is ready for maternity leave! :-)
Happy Friday ladies.!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
A trip to the birthing center
Don't worry. I haven't given birth yet, but I was pretty damn scared that I was going to.
On Monday, I got to work and I was pretty stressed out. There is a ton of stuff left to be done on our house before Sully comes and for the next two weekends, we have family coming to stay with us.
I decided to leave work at noon and head home to get some things done and get a jump on it. I had been putzing around for a few hours. I was putting some weather stripping on one of the windows and all of a sudden there was a big gush of fluid. I reached down and my pants were definitely wet.
I stood there for a minute in shock. Did my water just break? I'm only 33 1/2 weeks. This can't be happening.
I finally shook off the shock and called Dr. S's office. They wanted me to come in right away and get checked out. There was no one to drive me in, so I told the nurse I was driving myself. She was not pleased about that. She asked, "What about your parents?" That caused me to burst into tears and pitifully say, "All my parents live out of state and I am all alonnnnnnnnnnnnnneeee." It was pretty pathetic.
I changed my wet pants, grabbed a bag of random items just in case, and got into the car. I focus better in panic mode, so I wasn't concerned about driving myself. My mind was racing. Then I thought to myself, when is the last time I felt him move? Had I felt him at all that day? I started to get really worried then. I know that the later you get in your pregnancy, movement decreases because they are limited space, but I was really worried now.
I called Robert and picked him up on the way into the birthing center. We got there and I was pretty calm and collected; until we got to the room and the nurse asked me what brought me in that day.
I completely lost it. I told her that I had leaked fluid and that I didn't think I could feel him moving.
I got into a gown and she put the monitors on me. The second his big, strong heartbeat came on the speaker, I cried even harder. That is the most beautiful sound in the world. The monitor also showed that I wasn't having contractions. Thank goodness. I was so panicked that my blood pressure was 158/100. I guess I was more upset than previously thought. We had to do that amniotic fluid test where they stick this huge Q-tip in your lady station and then mix it with this solution to see if there is amniotic fluid present. Luckily, the test was negative. So if it wasn't amniotic fluid, what the hell happened? The answer is beyond embarrassing, but I guess it happens all the time: Sully put his head into my bladder so quickly and forecfully, that I peed my pants. Yep... pissed myself. I didn't even get the urge to go. I just went.
I was so glad that he was OK, and that I wasn't in labor yet. The resident doc looked like Dougie Howser and was younger than me. He was incredibly nice, but it was slightly awkward. They decided to check me for dilation anyway. Did I mention I love being a human hand puppet? Haha I am not dilated at all and everything is 100% where it is supposed to be. The resident was concerned that my blood pressure was so high when I came in. I assured him it was just because I was so frantic. He went to recheck and just as I thought;;; 122/66. It is amazing what pure joy and relief will do to a blood pressure. :-)
I still have my appointment next week with Dr. S for the growth ultrasound. I was really nervous when he mentioned inducing me 2 weeks early if Sully is getting big, because I was scared of a C Section, but after this little episode, I am ready to have him out of the belly and see him be OK. Either way, I am getting so excited to meet him. This pregnancy has enough excitement!
Oh, and we did have that office baby shower yesterday, but I will post on that later.
Happy Wednesday!
On Monday, I got to work and I was pretty stressed out. There is a ton of stuff left to be done on our house before Sully comes and for the next two weekends, we have family coming to stay with us.
I decided to leave work at noon and head home to get some things done and get a jump on it. I had been putzing around for a few hours. I was putting some weather stripping on one of the windows and all of a sudden there was a big gush of fluid. I reached down and my pants were definitely wet.
I stood there for a minute in shock. Did my water just break? I'm only 33 1/2 weeks. This can't be happening.
I finally shook off the shock and called Dr. S's office. They wanted me to come in right away and get checked out. There was no one to drive me in, so I told the nurse I was driving myself. She was not pleased about that. She asked, "What about your parents?" That caused me to burst into tears and pitifully say, "All my parents live out of state and I am all alonnnnnnnnnnnnnneeee." It was pretty pathetic.
I changed my wet pants, grabbed a bag of random items just in case, and got into the car. I focus better in panic mode, so I wasn't concerned about driving myself. My mind was racing. Then I thought to myself, when is the last time I felt him move? Had I felt him at all that day? I started to get really worried then. I know that the later you get in your pregnancy, movement decreases because they are limited space, but I was really worried now.
I called Robert and picked him up on the way into the birthing center. We got there and I was pretty calm and collected; until we got to the room and the nurse asked me what brought me in that day.
I completely lost it. I told her that I had leaked fluid and that I didn't think I could feel him moving.
I got into a gown and she put the monitors on me. The second his big, strong heartbeat came on the speaker, I cried even harder. That is the most beautiful sound in the world. The monitor also showed that I wasn't having contractions. Thank goodness. I was so panicked that my blood pressure was 158/100. I guess I was more upset than previously thought. We had to do that amniotic fluid test where they stick this huge Q-tip in your lady station and then mix it with this solution to see if there is amniotic fluid present. Luckily, the test was negative. So if it wasn't amniotic fluid, what the hell happened? The answer is beyond embarrassing, but I guess it happens all the time: Sully put his head into my bladder so quickly and forecfully, that I peed my pants. Yep... pissed myself. I didn't even get the urge to go. I just went.
I was so glad that he was OK, and that I wasn't in labor yet. The resident doc looked like Dougie Howser and was younger than me. He was incredibly nice, but it was slightly awkward. They decided to check me for dilation anyway. Did I mention I love being a human hand puppet? Haha I am not dilated at all and everything is 100% where it is supposed to be. The resident was concerned that my blood pressure was so high when I came in. I assured him it was just because I was so frantic. He went to recheck and just as I thought;;; 122/66. It is amazing what pure joy and relief will do to a blood pressure. :-)
I still have my appointment next week with Dr. S for the growth ultrasound. I was really nervous when he mentioned inducing me 2 weeks early if Sully is getting big, because I was scared of a C Section, but after this little episode, I am ready to have him out of the belly and see him be OK. Either way, I am getting so excited to meet him. This pregnancy has enough excitement!
Oh, and we did have that office baby shower yesterday, but I will post on that later.
Happy Wednesday!
Friday, October 14, 2011
I need your opinion
I am in dire need of your thoughts here. I am in a dilemma at work.
Here is the 411:
I know I have posted on here that another woman I work with is also pregnant. She is also an IF mom. We'll call her K.
K had a miscarriage and then become pregnant. That pregnancy lead to the birth of her now soon to be 4 year old son. Shortly after his birth, she and her husband started trying again. There were nothing but troubles for her.
She and I spent the better part of 2010 comforting each other, supporting each other and struggling to get pregnant. During that time, she had four more miscarriages. It was beyond heartbreaking to watch.
Every time she got pregnant, she always told me right away but was always sensitive and caring; asking me if I was OK, and she hopes I wasn't sad. Of course I was always slightly bummed when someone got a bun in the oven and it wasn't me, but I was always thrilled for her.
I was also the one that always got the phone call when she was on the way to the hospital after she tell tale bleeding started that would always end in a D & C.
The Saturday in March that I found out I was pregnant with Sully, she was the first phone call I made. I remember how my hands shook when I dialed. I didn't want her to feel badly.
K was anything but bummed out for me. She was so excited and told me how happy she was. It was a relief. We had plans to go to dinner the next night so I was excited to sit and chat with her.
The next evening, we went to dinner and we talked all about this new pregnancy and what I could expect from maternity at work etc.
She was so kind and sincere.
Later that evening, Robert and I were sitting at home and my phone rang. It was K. I wondered what she was doing calling so late, but I picked up anyway. Her voice was full of excitement; she took a HPT and she was pregnant too!
K said that after we left the restaurant, she started thinking about her own schedule, and she realized that she too was late.
I couldn't believe it. Not only did we both get our miracles, but we were going to be pregnant together!
We decided to meet before work and run to the doctor to get blood work done, just to be sure.
We found out at that appointment that K was actually 3 weeks further along and had no idea. We were given due dates 3 weeks apart and sent on our way. This was just perfect.
K and I have both had ups and downs during our pregnancies, but so far, so good. While I have been vomiting like that girl from the "Exorcist," she has been having the most awful swelling in her feet.
We have once again supported each other, comforted each other and marveled at the sheer size of our bellies with each other. It is so exciting to have a friend being going through the exact same thing together.
Now, we are exactly one month from her scheduled C-Section and a short 7 weeks from my due date. I can't believe how fast the time has gone.
Here is where I need your opinion.
I work in a very small office. There are 12 of us in here, and everyone usually knows everyone's business. Most people in here are aware of my trouble's and K's troubles. Everyone was pleased to peaches when they discovered we were pregnant, let alone, so close together.
One of my other co workers brought up throwing a little office shower. A little cake, presents and a pot luck.
I was thrilled. I am just so grateful to be pregnant that any time someone wants to celebrate Sully, I am all for it.
The co worker planning it, let's call him P, is pretty much a social retard. He has no filter and is extremely arrogant. Part of me keeps hoping that somewhere deep down, he is a decent guy, but sadly, he always lets me down. I was a little leery of him throwing this shower, but he wanted to do it, so we let him have it.
Just as I thought, he started small grumblings about having to order the cake and coordinate everything etc. I blew it off, thinking it was his normal lack of filter at its finest. Then, came the double whammy.
After our office closed, he said he needed to talk to me. We sat at my desk and he proceeded to tell me that some people in this office felt angry that K was getting to be part of the baby shower, because they had thrown her a baby shower when she was pregnant with her 4 year old. They felt like it should only be a shower for me.
I was shocked.
People were angry?!
My first thought was that it was P being a jerk so I went into the office of my confidante at work and prepared to bitch. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that my confidante was one of the angry people. I asked her why she was angry and she then went on a rant on how "greedy" K was being and that she was "horning" in on my shower. She said that K was in a higher position than me in the company and that she should have stepped back and let me have the shower by myself because it was my first baby and because now people couldn't spend as much on a gift for me. Her face was red as we spoke and I could not believe my ears. Yes, I get that technically you don't have a shower with subsequent children, but these were obviously special circumstances.
I remember leaving her office that day and I felt totally crushed. I sent P and email and demanded that he cancel the shower. The next day, he came to my office and told me that he had taken care of it and everything was fine. I agreed to put the shower back on.
Cut to Wednesday night.
My confidante, L, was in her office, looking at my baby registry. She asked me to come in her office and let her know what I still would really like or need. I started pointing out some items when she started in about K again. I could feel my blood start to boil. L said that she was going to get me a small gift that was similar to what she was going to give K for the office shower and then give me a "real" gift in private.
That was it. I couldn't take it anymore. I looked at her and said, "Do you think this is all about presents? That all we care about is getting stuff?" In a fit of what I can assume was preggo anger, I grabbed my registry that she had printed, and I tore it up. I told her that she could buy whatever she wanted, but that I was going to return it. I told her that this is a time for celebration, and now it is being tainted. I most certainly did not want to celebrate Sully like this.
I walked out of her office and sent P a scathing email about how the shower was done and I didn't want to hear another word about it.
Thankfully, K had left for the day because I would never want her to know how people felt and how "adults" in our office were acting.
I ran into another coworker in the hallway, D, and told her that the shower for Tuesday was cancelled. When she asked why, I told her that I was sick of the grumbling and it wasn't worth it.
I went home and thought about it all night.
Yesterday morning when I got into work, I had an email from D and another coworker M. They pretty much knew how jerky P and L were being and decided that they were not going to dictate our fun. They both agreed that this is a special circumstance and all babies and mamas deserved to be celebrated. M and D decided to throw the shower instead of P and they took the reigns and basically gave everyone the finger.
We still are not going to let K in on the real reason that people are assholes because we would never want her feeling so badly.
So I ask you this: Who is right in this situation? Is is L, who believes that K should step aside and opt not to be involved with this shower and that she is being greedy by not stepping aside?
Or is it me, who believes that all there are special circumstances where someone may get a second shower? Where it would be wrong in such a small office, having two women pregnant SO CLOSE together, and deciding to only celebrate one? Where it is wrong to assume that all celebrations are about presents?!
I appreciate all your input ladies! Apparently L isn't the only one that feels this way and I am flabbergasted.
Here is the 411:
I know I have posted on here that another woman I work with is also pregnant. She is also an IF mom. We'll call her K.
K had a miscarriage and then become pregnant. That pregnancy lead to the birth of her now soon to be 4 year old son. Shortly after his birth, she and her husband started trying again. There were nothing but troubles for her.
She and I spent the better part of 2010 comforting each other, supporting each other and struggling to get pregnant. During that time, she had four more miscarriages. It was beyond heartbreaking to watch.
Every time she got pregnant, she always told me right away but was always sensitive and caring; asking me if I was OK, and she hopes I wasn't sad. Of course I was always slightly bummed when someone got a bun in the oven and it wasn't me, but I was always thrilled for her.
I was also the one that always got the phone call when she was on the way to the hospital after she tell tale bleeding started that would always end in a D & C.
The Saturday in March that I found out I was pregnant with Sully, she was the first phone call I made. I remember how my hands shook when I dialed. I didn't want her to feel badly.
K was anything but bummed out for me. She was so excited and told me how happy she was. It was a relief. We had plans to go to dinner the next night so I was excited to sit and chat with her.
The next evening, we went to dinner and we talked all about this new pregnancy and what I could expect from maternity at work etc.
She was so kind and sincere.
Later that evening, Robert and I were sitting at home and my phone rang. It was K. I wondered what she was doing calling so late, but I picked up anyway. Her voice was full of excitement; she took a HPT and she was pregnant too!
K said that after we left the restaurant, she started thinking about her own schedule, and she realized that she too was late.
I couldn't believe it. Not only did we both get our miracles, but we were going to be pregnant together!
We decided to meet before work and run to the doctor to get blood work done, just to be sure.
We found out at that appointment that K was actually 3 weeks further along and had no idea. We were given due dates 3 weeks apart and sent on our way. This was just perfect.
K and I have both had ups and downs during our pregnancies, but so far, so good. While I have been vomiting like that girl from the "Exorcist," she has been having the most awful swelling in her feet.
We have once again supported each other, comforted each other and marveled at the sheer size of our bellies with each other. It is so exciting to have a friend being going through the exact same thing together.
Now, we are exactly one month from her scheduled C-Section and a short 7 weeks from my due date. I can't believe how fast the time has gone.
Here is where I need your opinion.
I work in a very small office. There are 12 of us in here, and everyone usually knows everyone's business. Most people in here are aware of my trouble's and K's troubles. Everyone was pleased to peaches when they discovered we were pregnant, let alone, so close together.
One of my other co workers brought up throwing a little office shower. A little cake, presents and a pot luck.
I was thrilled. I am just so grateful to be pregnant that any time someone wants to celebrate Sully, I am all for it.
The co worker planning it, let's call him P, is pretty much a social retard. He has no filter and is extremely arrogant. Part of me keeps hoping that somewhere deep down, he is a decent guy, but sadly, he always lets me down. I was a little leery of him throwing this shower, but he wanted to do it, so we let him have it.
Just as I thought, he started small grumblings about having to order the cake and coordinate everything etc. I blew it off, thinking it was his normal lack of filter at its finest. Then, came the double whammy.
After our office closed, he said he needed to talk to me. We sat at my desk and he proceeded to tell me that some people in this office felt angry that K was getting to be part of the baby shower, because they had thrown her a baby shower when she was pregnant with her 4 year old. They felt like it should only be a shower for me.
I was shocked.
People were angry?!
My first thought was that it was P being a jerk so I went into the office of my confidante at work and prepared to bitch. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that my confidante was one of the angry people. I asked her why she was angry and she then went on a rant on how "greedy" K was being and that she was "horning" in on my shower. She said that K was in a higher position than me in the company and that she should have stepped back and let me have the shower by myself because it was my first baby and because now people couldn't spend as much on a gift for me. Her face was red as we spoke and I could not believe my ears. Yes, I get that technically you don't have a shower with subsequent children, but these were obviously special circumstances.
I remember leaving her office that day and I felt totally crushed. I sent P and email and demanded that he cancel the shower. The next day, he came to my office and told me that he had taken care of it and everything was fine. I agreed to put the shower back on.
Cut to Wednesday night.
My confidante, L, was in her office, looking at my baby registry. She asked me to come in her office and let her know what I still would really like or need. I started pointing out some items when she started in about K again. I could feel my blood start to boil. L said that she was going to get me a small gift that was similar to what she was going to give K for the office shower and then give me a "real" gift in private.
That was it. I couldn't take it anymore. I looked at her and said, "Do you think this is all about presents? That all we care about is getting stuff?" In a fit of what I can assume was preggo anger, I grabbed my registry that she had printed, and I tore it up. I told her that she could buy whatever she wanted, but that I was going to return it. I told her that this is a time for celebration, and now it is being tainted. I most certainly did not want to celebrate Sully like this.
I walked out of her office and sent P a scathing email about how the shower was done and I didn't want to hear another word about it.
Thankfully, K had left for the day because I would never want her to know how people felt and how "adults" in our office were acting.
I ran into another coworker in the hallway, D, and told her that the shower for Tuesday was cancelled. When she asked why, I told her that I was sick of the grumbling and it wasn't worth it.
I went home and thought about it all night.
Yesterday morning when I got into work, I had an email from D and another coworker M. They pretty much knew how jerky P and L were being and decided that they were not going to dictate our fun. They both agreed that this is a special circumstance and all babies and mamas deserved to be celebrated. M and D decided to throw the shower instead of P and they took the reigns and basically gave everyone the finger.
We still are not going to let K in on the real reason that people are assholes because we would never want her feeling so badly.
So I ask you this: Who is right in this situation? Is is L, who believes that K should step aside and opt not to be involved with this shower and that she is being greedy by not stepping aside?
Or is it me, who believes that all there are special circumstances where someone may get a second shower? Where it would be wrong in such a small office, having two women pregnant SO CLOSE together, and deciding to only celebrate one? Where it is wrong to assume that all celebrations are about presents?!
I appreciate all your input ladies! Apparently L isn't the only one that feels this way and I am flabbergasted.
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