Monday morning is here again. How come the weekends are zooming by so quickly?
I have been doing a lot of thinking since we are coming to the end of 2010. I thought for sure I would be pregnant by now. When Robert and I first starting trying, we thought that 2010 would be our year. Either we would become parents, or on our way to being parents. Here we are in December, and we are no closer to that dream. I know I have been thinking about it way too much lately. Almost letting it consume every minute of my thoughts. Doctors, theologists, and just about everyone else says that you need to just quit thinking about it and it will happen. Yea, right. I will try not to think about the giant pink elephant in my living room either. Anyway, I have been trying to get my mind off of it. I throw myself into work, and Christmas, and my home. I am chairperson for our annual fundraiser, I am taking on extra work, things around my house are getting done with more gusto than usual, and I am awesomely ahead of the game on the Christmas front.
Also, when you are TTC, your sex life kind of turns into an assignment. There is set times, dates, and a purpose. The spark almost goes out of it. And of course nothing is more romantic than a reminder popping up on your outlook telling you to do the nasty with your hubby. HOT.
So last night, I lit some candles, played some nice music, and really made it romantic. And let me tell you ladies, it was wonderful. I have to try and remember that this is just as hard on Robert and we all need a little a little TLC everyone once and a while.
I have a busy week coming up, but right smack dab in the middle, is my appointment with Dr. Sebastian on Wednesday. The constant state of "hurry up and wait" is enough to drive a person bonkers. I did get a bright spot though. Some of my appointments were coded differently and will still be covered as of 2011. Hopefully Sebastian will finagle things for me. :-)
Now all I need is a little get up and go this morning and I will be just fine. Considering it is a Monday and I work at a non-profit law firm, I am sure it will be insanity. Thank goodness for the candy cane I swiped my the office candy bowl. A little peppermint will do some good.
Have a good Monday all!
~Courtney
Monday, December 6, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
This is gonna be a rant.....
I am just going to tell you now that I am beyond furious and this will be a short, little rant. If you don't want to hear it, I suggest you don't continue to read.
Everyone who knows me, knows that I am a raging Democrat with some conservative tendencies. Here in Minnesota, we have the world's worst governor, Tim "T-Paw" Pawlenty. He is a republican waste of space and I can't stand that thought that he is somewhere in my state, breathing my good air. Earlier this year, T-Paw got the brilliant idea to cut GMAC, General Assistance Medical Care. GMAC is the medical care you get through the county, the welfare health care plan. People living on Social Security, or a fixed income of another kind, rely on this health care to take care of them. Well, good old T-Paw didn't like that idea. I mean, do poor people really deserve health care? Not in T-Paw's eyes. So he slashed it. Obviously there was some uproar about this as hundreds of thousands of people were now going to lose their health care coverage. Being the obviously generous guy that he is, T-Paw relented and decided that GMAC would be accepted at four, yep... only FOUR hospitals in the STATE. And all of them are in the Twin Cities area.
So, if these people can't pay a health care premium, how on earth are the going to afford commuting to Minneapolis/St. Paul? They answer? They can't. And even if they could, GMAC at these four hospitals won't cover preventative care, just an emergency. So let's say you have pink eye. Easily diagnosed, cured with a topical antibiotic. No more running into your primary doctor, who you trust, for a quick appointment and prescription; now, you have to travel to the cities, wait for hours in the emergency room, and then see someone for five minutes to write you the same prescription. And as we all know, emergency rooms visits cost WAY for than preventative care. Way to go, Governor.
I know I have a way of making a long story even longer, but it was all of that to say this. Recently, renewals for my company's health insurance was coming due again. We are currently with Health Partners and the coverage is great. We pay a hefty sum for it, but our employer pays a lot more. Our insurance has been a life saver, especially with our TTC troubles. Last week, our Executive Director sent out and email that stated that the State of Minnesota and the insurance companies decided to put some "exclusions" on coverage now. Some of the 2011 exclusions are:
Treatment for Sleep Apnea
Correction of TMJ
Acupuncture
Weight Loss Surgery
And........
.............................. any and all infertility treatments.
Yep. No more coverage. It doesn't matter that I pay out the ass for coverage, just, NOPE. No coverage for you.
I became so enraged and sad. What were were gonna do? Without treatment, I am not sure my body can sustain a pregnancy. I called the insurance company to delve further into the issue. And you know what the company and the state told me? It was "not medically necessary to have children, it is an elective."
::Insert steam coming out of my ears here::
Robert and I's only option is private pay. Average cost of a year of fertility treatments? $15,000. I sure don't have that laying around. An internal ultrasound? $1,100.
Now, can anyone really sit there and say we don't need health care reform? I am a hard working American, that pays for private care, and I am told that it is an "elective" to expand my family. Seriously? So basically, your lady parts have to be in 100% working order, or you have to be rich to have kids. There is obviously no gray area here. EPIC FAIL.
Now I am sitting here, plotting what I can do for the next month. Do I go off the prescribed birth control and risk getting sick? Do I put myself at risk? We all know I would do that in a heartbeat. I go to see Sebastian on the 8th, for what will probably be my last appointment. I am going to beg him for the Clomid and Letrozole, just so I have it. I can monitor myself. I am a nurse by training so it shouldn't be too hard. The bottom line is, health care in this country is an absolute joke. I am at a loss of what my next step is, but hopefully I can get some help/answers on the 8th.
Thanks for having an ear, or not. Until tomorrow......
~Courtney
Everyone who knows me, knows that I am a raging Democrat with some conservative tendencies. Here in Minnesota, we have the world's worst governor, Tim "T-Paw" Pawlenty. He is a republican waste of space and I can't stand that thought that he is somewhere in my state, breathing my good air. Earlier this year, T-Paw got the brilliant idea to cut GMAC, General Assistance Medical Care. GMAC is the medical care you get through the county, the welfare health care plan. People living on Social Security, or a fixed income of another kind, rely on this health care to take care of them. Well, good old T-Paw didn't like that idea. I mean, do poor people really deserve health care? Not in T-Paw's eyes. So he slashed it. Obviously there was some uproar about this as hundreds of thousands of people were now going to lose their health care coverage. Being the obviously generous guy that he is, T-Paw relented and decided that GMAC would be accepted at four, yep... only FOUR hospitals in the STATE. And all of them are in the Twin Cities area.
So, if these people can't pay a health care premium, how on earth are the going to afford commuting to Minneapolis/St. Paul? They answer? They can't. And even if they could, GMAC at these four hospitals won't cover preventative care, just an emergency. So let's say you have pink eye. Easily diagnosed, cured with a topical antibiotic. No more running into your primary doctor, who you trust, for a quick appointment and prescription; now, you have to travel to the cities, wait for hours in the emergency room, and then see someone for five minutes to write you the same prescription. And as we all know, emergency rooms visits cost WAY for than preventative care. Way to go, Governor.
I know I have a way of making a long story even longer, but it was all of that to say this. Recently, renewals for my company's health insurance was coming due again. We are currently with Health Partners and the coverage is great. We pay a hefty sum for it, but our employer pays a lot more. Our insurance has been a life saver, especially with our TTC troubles. Last week, our Executive Director sent out and email that stated that the State of Minnesota and the insurance companies decided to put some "exclusions" on coverage now. Some of the 2011 exclusions are:
Treatment for Sleep Apnea
Correction of TMJ
Acupuncture
Weight Loss Surgery
And........
.............................. any and all infertility treatments.
Yep. No more coverage. It doesn't matter that I pay out the ass for coverage, just, NOPE. No coverage for you.
I became so enraged and sad. What were were gonna do? Without treatment, I am not sure my body can sustain a pregnancy. I called the insurance company to delve further into the issue. And you know what the company and the state told me? It was "not medically necessary to have children, it is an elective."
::Insert steam coming out of my ears here::
Robert and I's only option is private pay. Average cost of a year of fertility treatments? $15,000. I sure don't have that laying around. An internal ultrasound? $1,100.
Now, can anyone really sit there and say we don't need health care reform? I am a hard working American, that pays for private care, and I am told that it is an "elective" to expand my family. Seriously? So basically, your lady parts have to be in 100% working order, or you have to be rich to have kids. There is obviously no gray area here. EPIC FAIL.
Now I am sitting here, plotting what I can do for the next month. Do I go off the prescribed birth control and risk getting sick? Do I put myself at risk? We all know I would do that in a heartbeat. I go to see Sebastian on the 8th, for what will probably be my last appointment. I am going to beg him for the Clomid and Letrozole, just so I have it. I can monitor myself. I am a nurse by training so it shouldn't be too hard. The bottom line is, health care in this country is an absolute joke. I am at a loss of what my next step is, but hopefully I can get some help/answers on the 8th.
Thanks for having an ear, or not. Until tomorrow......
~Courtney
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Where have I been?
Well hello there!
So much has been going on since we last spoke! I had my big trip to North Carolina to visit my parents, and let me tell you; I would move there in a heart beat! The weather was 75 degrees and sunny the entire time I was there. And for those of us living in Minnesota, there was an ice storm at home while I was gone. Can't say that I am sad I missed it! Haha! It was difficult to be away from Robert for 6 days, but my parents were thrilled to have me and I was thrilled to see them. We saw and did a lot of things while I was there. We walked around outside a lot which I absolutely loved.
This is Bass Lake in Holly Springs, N.C. The sunset on the lake was so spectacular:
So much has been going on since we last spoke! I had my big trip to North Carolina to visit my parents, and let me tell you; I would move there in a heart beat! The weather was 75 degrees and sunny the entire time I was there. And for those of us living in Minnesota, there was an ice storm at home while I was gone. Can't say that I am sad I missed it! Haha! It was difficult to be away from Robert for 6 days, but my parents were thrilled to have me and I was thrilled to see them. We saw and did a lot of things while I was there. We walked around outside a lot which I absolutely loved.
This is Bass Lake in Holly Springs, N.C. The sunset on the lake was so spectacular:
Also, North Carolina rarely sees snow and even if it gets a measly inch, all banks, schools, everything... completely closes! I couldn't believe it. Even though they rarely get snow, they have a fascination about it. Thus, Snow in a Can... yep, it's real....
We also went walking around the Civil War battleground of Bentonville. It was quite an experience. It was a moving experience just knowing you were walking on hallowed ground. Everywhere you looked, you could imagine what people had been through, see, and heard there. An old southern house is on the site. It is called Harper House. A doctor lived there and he and his children saw the 20,000 Confederate troops coming face to face, outnumbered, to the 60,000 Union troops. I couldn't imagine seeing that carnage.
I have more pictures I haven't posted yet, but here is one of the placards:
I had to keep that one big so you could see it all. :-)
While in the South, I had my first taste of real Carolina BBQ. We went to a place called Allen and Sons and had some pulled pork, slaw, and my very first hush puppy. Now, I had no idea what on earth a hush puppy even was, but man oh man.... it was DELISH! I mean, what is not to love about deep fried corn bread?!
It was wonderful to spend quality time with Dad and Sandy. It was relaxing and a lot of fun. It was very hard to leave them when they brought me to the airport though. I had told myself that crying was not an option; I didn't want to be "that girl". You know the ones... the airport criers. But alas, I sobbed anyway. I got on my plane and came back to the frozen tundra of the Northland. Even though is was snowy and freezing, I was really glad to be back. When we were flying over Lake Superior, (in a 20 seater plane... ick) it looked so beautiful:
Robert and Dan were excited to see me too. I really missed my boys, and my doggaughter, Eve. Speaking of my canine child, isn't she adorable?
I know this post seems like rambling, but I just had so much to tell! I haven't be able to post for a while!
And also, I had my internal ultrasound the day before I left for my trip. Again, the cyst isn't small enough. Another round of birth control and if it doesn't shrink, they want to cut it out through my belly button.... ick. I really hope it doesn't come to that. And to top it off, as of January 2011, insurance companies wont cover fertility treatments so now I have to pray I get grandfathered in. Grrr.. I go in again Dec. 8 for yet another internal ultrasound. It is super hard to stay positive when every single appointment has me leaving with suede wrapped packs of birth control. Oxymoron much?!
The bright spot on the horizon is Christmas. I ADORE Christmas. And with my dad and Sandy no longer living here, it is my duty to make it special for my brothers. They are all coming over on Christmas Eve and I am going to make a big dinner, and open presents, and I even got them all stockings. :-) Needless to say I am feeding my urge to nurture with these guys! Dan and I spent the weekend Christmas-a-fying the house! I even brought back 50 Magnolia leaves to use as gift tags on presents! They look to pretty!
Well, I suppose that is enough rambling. Oh yea, and we are in the middle of a giant snowstorm today..... EPIC FAIL.
~Courtney
Monday, November 15, 2010
I fro-ed up.
Exhausted.
That is about the only word I can use to sum up this weekend. On Friday it was forecasted that Minnesota was going to get a giant snowstorm. Great. I understand I live in Northern Minnesota but that doesn't necessarily mean I love to frolic in the fluffy, white stuff every year.
After work on Friday we made a mad dash to the grocery store and decided to batten down the hatches and settle in for the weekend.
I spent all of Saturday cleaning out the closet and scrubbing the bedroom from top to bottom. I was able to pack 2 bags full of clothes to donate to Good Will. I decided that if I hadn't worn something in 6 months, it was outta here. It was quite liberating actually. One of the deciding factors when I bought my house was the closet. It is a giant walk-in closest that is 10 feet long and 7 feet deep. And let me tell you, I have that mother full! I thought I was doing really well on the garment purge until I realized I still had 2 dressers full, and my entire closet. Oh well. At least it was organized.
My aunt called me and wanted me to watch Max for the night. How could I say no? He is the best kid ever. I was super pumped he was coming for a slumber party! Robert went out to the store and bought all the stuff for ice cream sundaes and Max was bringing "How to Train your Dragon."
We had a great dinner. Robert and Dan made sloppy joes, I made Mac and Cheese for Max.
Then we got on our jammies, made ice cream treats, and snuggled in for the movie.
At 10pm... I put Max in his bed, and I climbed in mine, and it was off to dreamland. I worked at group homes for several years so I sleep very lightly. At midnight, I heard Max start to cry. I asked him what was wrong, and his response? "I fro-ed up."
I sat straight up and the smell hit me like a ton of bricks. Ice cream and mac and cheese.... ugh... the dairy.
I helped him off his bed, stripped the sheets, and immediately put them in the wash. Hottest water setting possible.
I washed him up, gave him some tummy medicine, and he said he felt better.
I put clean sheets on the bed, and he snuggled in again.
Fast forward: 20 minutes later.
I hear Max start to cry again. So, like deja vu, I asked, "What's the matter honey?"
Here it comes: "I fro-ed up again...."
I once again got out of bed, and stripped the vomit covered sheets. At this point, he was running a fever so I knew I had to call me aunt. Poor kid.
We got him cleaned up, new load of sheets in the wash, and went to the living room to wait for his mommy.
We were smart and grabbed him a bucket this time, which he proceeded to use...... twice.
He was excited when mommy got there and Robert and I were now wide awake. It was 2am.
We decided to go in the den and watch a little TV. At 3am, we decided to try and get some shut eye.
Some of you may not know this, but sometimes, Robert snores like a freight train. Like open mouth, suck snoring.
So there I lay, in bed, tossing and turning. Robert was snoring away. I laid there until 4am. With no sign of sleep in sight, I grabbed my pillow and blanket, and stomped downstairs.
Fine, I thought to myself. I will just sleep on the couch. At least it is quiet here. Yea, um...not. I slept for all of 30 minutes until I could hear Robert's snoring all the way from upstairs, and then, get this, my dog started to snore.
Now walking around feeling like an exhausted zombie, I once again packed up my bed roll, and plodded to the den in the basement. I at this point, abandoned all hope of sleep so I just proceeded to watch movies. I had made it through "The Untouchables" and "Blow" before Robert awoke from his wonderful slumber.
I was completely exhausted for the whole day on Sunday. And then, to add the cherry on the top of my misery, the Vikes lost to the stinkin' bears! ::groan::
I actually looked forward to work today. I just have to get through today and tomorrow, and then I am officially on vacation until the 29th. I am beyond excited! And I am North Carolina bound on Thursday. I am so excited to see my parents!
Later,
~Courtney
That is about the only word I can use to sum up this weekend. On Friday it was forecasted that Minnesota was going to get a giant snowstorm. Great. I understand I live in Northern Minnesota but that doesn't necessarily mean I love to frolic in the fluffy, white stuff every year.
After work on Friday we made a mad dash to the grocery store and decided to batten down the hatches and settle in for the weekend.
I spent all of Saturday cleaning out the closet and scrubbing the bedroom from top to bottom. I was able to pack 2 bags full of clothes to donate to Good Will. I decided that if I hadn't worn something in 6 months, it was outta here. It was quite liberating actually. One of the deciding factors when I bought my house was the closet. It is a giant walk-in closest that is 10 feet long and 7 feet deep. And let me tell you, I have that mother full! I thought I was doing really well on the garment purge until I realized I still had 2 dressers full, and my entire closet. Oh well. At least it was organized.
My aunt called me and wanted me to watch Max for the night. How could I say no? He is the best kid ever. I was super pumped he was coming for a slumber party! Robert went out to the store and bought all the stuff for ice cream sundaes and Max was bringing "How to Train your Dragon."
We had a great dinner. Robert and Dan made sloppy joes, I made Mac and Cheese for Max.
Then we got on our jammies, made ice cream treats, and snuggled in for the movie.
At 10pm... I put Max in his bed, and I climbed in mine, and it was off to dreamland. I worked at group homes for several years so I sleep very lightly. At midnight, I heard Max start to cry. I asked him what was wrong, and his response? "I fro-ed up."
I sat straight up and the smell hit me like a ton of bricks. Ice cream and mac and cheese.... ugh... the dairy.
I helped him off his bed, stripped the sheets, and immediately put them in the wash. Hottest water setting possible.
I washed him up, gave him some tummy medicine, and he said he felt better.
I put clean sheets on the bed, and he snuggled in again.
Fast forward: 20 minutes later.
I hear Max start to cry again. So, like deja vu, I asked, "What's the matter honey?"
Here it comes: "I fro-ed up again...."
I once again got out of bed, and stripped the vomit covered sheets. At this point, he was running a fever so I knew I had to call me aunt. Poor kid.
We got him cleaned up, new load of sheets in the wash, and went to the living room to wait for his mommy.
We were smart and grabbed him a bucket this time, which he proceeded to use...... twice.
He was excited when mommy got there and Robert and I were now wide awake. It was 2am.
We decided to go in the den and watch a little TV. At 3am, we decided to try and get some shut eye.
Some of you may not know this, but sometimes, Robert snores like a freight train. Like open mouth, suck snoring.
So there I lay, in bed, tossing and turning. Robert was snoring away. I laid there until 4am. With no sign of sleep in sight, I grabbed my pillow and blanket, and stomped downstairs.
Fine, I thought to myself. I will just sleep on the couch. At least it is quiet here. Yea, um...not. I slept for all of 30 minutes until I could hear Robert's snoring all the way from upstairs, and then, get this, my dog started to snore.
Now walking around feeling like an exhausted zombie, I once again packed up my bed roll, and plodded to the den in the basement. I at this point, abandoned all hope of sleep so I just proceeded to watch movies. I had made it through "The Untouchables" and "Blow" before Robert awoke from his wonderful slumber.
I was completely exhausted for the whole day on Sunday. And then, to add the cherry on the top of my misery, the Vikes lost to the stinkin' bears! ::groan::
I actually looked forward to work today. I just have to get through today and tomorrow, and then I am officially on vacation until the 29th. I am beyond excited! And I am North Carolina bound on Thursday. I am so excited to see my parents!
Later,
~Courtney
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Like a knife through butter....
That is what the tension is like at work today. There was a board meeting last night and it looks like there will be some big changes coming our way. Yippee! Not... I am totally dreading the staff meeting today. I am sure there will be a lot of people shutting themselves in their offices today.
I am ultra glad for my vacation coming up now! Haha.
One week from today I will be in sunny North Carolina. I can't wait to see my dad and Sandy! I am sure I will get off the airplane and cry like a baby. I am a daddy's girl and I miss my dad like crazy.
And it is also a week until my appointment with Sebastian... send me your positive vibes! I need this cyst to shrink!!
Since there is a zillion and one things to do today, I wanted to make this a quick post.
Later lovers!
~Courtney
I am ultra glad for my vacation coming up now! Haha.
One week from today I will be in sunny North Carolina. I can't wait to see my dad and Sandy! I am sure I will get off the airplane and cry like a baby. I am a daddy's girl and I miss my dad like crazy.
And it is also a week until my appointment with Sebastian... send me your positive vibes! I need this cyst to shrink!!
Since there is a zillion and one things to do today, I wanted to make this a quick post.
Later lovers!
~Courtney
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Tuesday..... already?
Morning!
Well, it was a wonderful weekend to say the least. Women Rock was an astounding success. It was our biggest event yet! There was so many people there and the all around vibe was overwhelming. I was actually brought to tears with the outpouring of love I felt that day. With Sandymom being a breast cancer survivor, this event always hits me in the heart strings. I am so proud of her for kicking cancer's butt. Not a day goes by that I don't feel lucky that she was as strong as she was.
We had great volunteers and surprisingly, warm weather! That is pretty unusual for Northern Minnesota in November.
It was a great day, but I was wiped out! I was on my feet all day and running around making sure everything was just right. My friends Leah and Melissa volunteered for me and they really rocked the house!
After the long day, I went to Leah and enjoyed some yummy Chinese take out (the L14 Mixed Vegetable with garlic from Beijing is to die for!) and some wine. It was a much needed chill session.
Sunday was spent being a seriously lazy ass. I know I could have done a million things on Sunday, but it was the first day in weeks that I could just relax. Robert and I watched the Vikes game. What a freakin' nail biter! UGH, and I am so over Brad Childress as coach... he needs his walking papers.
Then we watched the final two Blade movies. They were Wesley Snipes cheesy, but they were OK.
I am in my insomniac cycle lately. I fall asleep easily, but then I am up every hour. It is seriously annoying. Especially with the holidays and my trip coming up, I need all the sleep I can get. I am going to try and pop a Unisom tonight and see if that helps.
Perhaps it is my subconscious nerves. I have my appointment with Dr. Sebastian next week. This is the appointment to see if the birth control has shrunk the cyst enough to start the Clomid. I am keeping everyone of my fingers crossed and praying constantly, because this whole taking birth control AND prenatal vitamins, is an oxymoron that I don't particularly care for. I am getting better about relaxing about the whole situation though. And I am really trying to curb all my stresses. In fact, I made a command decision that will curb a bunch of my holiday stress.
Usually on Christmas Eve, we go to my Aunt K's house. Well, obviously with all the family drama of this past year, I have decided that even if Robert and I are in invited, we will not attend. It would just be too hard and I don't want to spend my holiday uncomfortable. Instead, I will take Sandymom's place and make a big family dinner. I have already talked to Dan, Robert and Nick about it, and they are all game. I am going to make a ham, potatoes, homemade pies, the whole nine yards. We are going to have our own family Christmas. I will do everything like Sandy did. I will get everyone stockings, and fill them with candy and tooth paste. Stepping into that matriarch role is frightening, and I have big shoes to fill, but I know I can do it.
I am getting really excited for Christmas now. I have a plan and for those who know me, you know I must have a plan! Haha.
I suppose I better do some more work (or online shopping.... I haven't really decided!) talk to you soon!
~Courtney
Well, it was a wonderful weekend to say the least. Women Rock was an astounding success. It was our biggest event yet! There was so many people there and the all around vibe was overwhelming. I was actually brought to tears with the outpouring of love I felt that day. With Sandymom being a breast cancer survivor, this event always hits me in the heart strings. I am so proud of her for kicking cancer's butt. Not a day goes by that I don't feel lucky that she was as strong as she was.
We had great volunteers and surprisingly, warm weather! That is pretty unusual for Northern Minnesota in November.
It was a great day, but I was wiped out! I was on my feet all day and running around making sure everything was just right. My friends Leah and Melissa volunteered for me and they really rocked the house!
After the long day, I went to Leah and enjoyed some yummy Chinese take out (the L14 Mixed Vegetable with garlic from Beijing is to die for!) and some wine. It was a much needed chill session.
Sunday was spent being a seriously lazy ass. I know I could have done a million things on Sunday, but it was the first day in weeks that I could just relax. Robert and I watched the Vikes game. What a freakin' nail biter! UGH, and I am so over Brad Childress as coach... he needs his walking papers.
Then we watched the final two Blade movies. They were Wesley Snipes cheesy, but they were OK.
I am in my insomniac cycle lately. I fall asleep easily, but then I am up every hour. It is seriously annoying. Especially with the holidays and my trip coming up, I need all the sleep I can get. I am going to try and pop a Unisom tonight and see if that helps.
Perhaps it is my subconscious nerves. I have my appointment with Dr. Sebastian next week. This is the appointment to see if the birth control has shrunk the cyst enough to start the Clomid. I am keeping everyone of my fingers crossed and praying constantly, because this whole taking birth control AND prenatal vitamins, is an oxymoron that I don't particularly care for. I am getting better about relaxing about the whole situation though. And I am really trying to curb all my stresses. In fact, I made a command decision that will curb a bunch of my holiday stress.
Usually on Christmas Eve, we go to my Aunt K's house. Well, obviously with all the family drama of this past year, I have decided that even if Robert and I are in invited, we will not attend. It would just be too hard and I don't want to spend my holiday uncomfortable. Instead, I will take Sandymom's place and make a big family dinner. I have already talked to Dan, Robert and Nick about it, and they are all game. I am going to make a ham, potatoes, homemade pies, the whole nine yards. We are going to have our own family Christmas. I will do everything like Sandy did. I will get everyone stockings, and fill them with candy and tooth paste. Stepping into that matriarch role is frightening, and I have big shoes to fill, but I know I can do it.
I am getting really excited for Christmas now. I have a plan and for those who know me, you know I must have a plan! Haha.
I suppose I better do some more work (or online shopping.... I haven't really decided!) talk to you soon!
~Courtney
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
It has been forever!
Hello there!
I haven't posted in a few days because I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off! On Friday, Robert and I drove down to the cities for the weekend. Traffic was a nightmare as per usual, but we made it there by 8pm, which is all I can ask for. His parents were excited to see us. We also decided that since my parents knew what was going on, we would let them in on our TTC troubles. It is always hard telling someone when you are having an issue with this. I mean, I know it happens, but it is a complete downer. And I really hate feeling like I am bumming people out.
His mom was amazing. She seemed to completely get how I was feeling, and even let us know that she too had a pregnancy loss before Robert was born. I am glad that all the parents are in the loop. Robert and I are blessed with amazing parents and it will be nice to have a lot of support in the coming months.
We called it an early night on Friday. It is really exhausting to work a full day and then get in the car and drive for 2 hours! On Saturday, we ran to Target to get some last minute costume things. I got a cool head band, earrings, and cute little shoes on clearance! I loved it. We grabbed some lunch at Chili's (which we don't have in Duluth) and Robert and I split some SERIOUSLY delicious fajitas. I was really surprised.
Saturday night we had our big Halloween party. Robert's friend's threw a big bash and it was a really good time. I had offered to sober cab so Robert could have a good time with his guy friends, and well, he definitely had a good time!
Here is our costumes. We are a smokin' hot couple:
I haven't posted in a few days because I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off! On Friday, Robert and I drove down to the cities for the weekend. Traffic was a nightmare as per usual, but we made it there by 8pm, which is all I can ask for. His parents were excited to see us. We also decided that since my parents knew what was going on, we would let them in on our TTC troubles. It is always hard telling someone when you are having an issue with this. I mean, I know it happens, but it is a complete downer. And I really hate feeling like I am bumming people out.
His mom was amazing. She seemed to completely get how I was feeling, and even let us know that she too had a pregnancy loss before Robert was born. I am glad that all the parents are in the loop. Robert and I are blessed with amazing parents and it will be nice to have a lot of support in the coming months.
We called it an early night on Friday. It is really exhausting to work a full day and then get in the car and drive for 2 hours! On Saturday, we ran to Target to get some last minute costume things. I got a cool head band, earrings, and cute little shoes on clearance! I loved it. We grabbed some lunch at Chili's (which we don't have in Duluth) and Robert and I split some SERIOUSLY delicious fajitas. I was really surprised.
Saturday night we had our big Halloween party. Robert's friend's threw a big bash and it was a really good time. I had offered to sober cab so Robert could have a good time with his guy friends, and well, he definitely had a good time!
Here is our costumes. We are a smokin' hot couple:
I do hate that you can see like all 8 of my chins though... wah wah wah.
Robert over imbibed at the party and by the time we got back to his parents house and laid down, he jumped outta bed, and vomited in an empty shoe box. HOT. He decided to sleep in the recliner, which was OK with me. At his parent's house we have to share a twin bed it is not the most comfortable thing.
We slept in a little bit on Sunday and then I drove home (Robert was still feeling a little under the weather haha).
We got home around 2pm and cleaned up a little bit so we could head over to my mom's. My mom had planned a little Halloween party for the family. She decorated the house and made lots of food. She even put her pulled pork rolls in a coffin:
She's adorable. Then we took the boys trick or treating. My little cousins are adorable! Here is a picture of Max as Dash from The Incredibles and Christian, he was a baseball player:
It was a really wonderful weekend, but I was so tired! I feel like I am still playing catch up.
Yesterday I busted butt getting ready for Women Rock! I can't believe it is almost here! Come Sunday I am going to be a walking zombie! I am sleepy just thinking about it.
I didn't realize this post was going to be this big, so I suppose I better get back to the grind!
~Courtney
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